Free

We're just as free
Free as we'll ever be


Dear Zac Brown Band, thank you for reminding us that country music can be, and should be, simple. In an age of rhinestone cowboys, Zac Brown and company manages to bring country back to its roots. Sometimes, less really is more. I have a Pandora station devoted to the Zac Brown Band, and every song that comes up is elegantly simple with thoughtful lyrics and a unique sound; it makes for a great summertime playlist.

Their latest hit Free was stuck in my head this morning. Ironically enough, it was while I was taking my first practice MCAT. It's really helpful to have a song about being free and living a simple country life with your love while taking a standardized test. Really. Studying for the MCAT is going well. I'm trying not to burn out too early but still get my work done, which averages out to about 4-6 hours of studying a day. This number makes the average student cringe, but I am no average student. I'm a super nerd; I have a higher tolerance for studying. I never realized how lame that sounds until I said it just now. Most people in college build up their tolerance for Keystone and Cap'n Mo... I'm just that cool.

This is what the end of a typical study day feels like.

M-kitteh?

Coffee shop owners around town are starting to recognize me. This was an actual conversation between myself and the owner of Common Grounds, my new MCAT study spot:

Owner: Oh you're back again! More MCAT studying today?
Me: Yeah, you're going to see a lot of me this summer...
Owner: Oh good! Regular soy latte?
Me: Yes please.
Owner: And do you have one of our frequent customer cards?
Me: No, but I probably should get one... I'm going to be here a lot...

I ran into my bio instructor from my prep class (who is a med student at UCD) at the coffee shop and he came over to my table to chat with me for awhile about school, MCATs, traveling, and the like. Med students are pretty great, I have discovered, because they are not far removed from the heinousness of undergrad science courses and entrance exams and applications, so they are remarkably chill and have great advice to offer. I have also made some pretty cool friends in class, and y'all know how I feel about friends :) MCAT class is a funny setting. Sometimes I wish I could just focus on the people rather than the information, like a sociologist would. If I could, I would just go to class and observe, listen. From only one week of class, I have determined that pre-med students fall in a couple distinct categories made up of roughly the following percentages: 74% awkward quiet nerdy "typical" pre-meds, 3.7% people that you wonder how they tie their shoes let alone plan for a career in medicine, 6.3% people that seem normal at first but they eventually reveal quirks and strange personality traits that makes you second-guess their apparent normalcy, and the remaining 16% are actually normal. I try to make friends with the 16%. And as we learned in chemistry and grammar school, respectively, like dissolves like and birds of a feather flock together. I would like to consider myself normal...

As weird as it sounds, I am really enjoying this whole MCAT deal. Before you call the nearest mental institution to see if they have an open bed for me, just hear me out: I have wanted to be a doctor since I was six years old. SIX. For those of you keeping score at home, this whole journey is almost fifteen years in the making... and I'm still so far away. So finally, after so many years of waiting, I am doing something about it. And it's a great feeling. As I have said a few times, it has been such an up and down year for me, and things have been looking up pretty consistently for the last few months, finally. Preparing for this exam is enjoyable for me. I am taking concrete steps toward making my dreams a reality. And speaking of dreams, I have had this recurring dream (at least 3 times now) that I receive a 38 on the MCAT. God, if you are reading this, please please please let this be a sign. With a 38, they'll be banging down my door with acceptance letters. I really hope that dreams are some sort of sign because if so... shoot. People ask me if I am scared to graduate next year. I am by no means scared; I have a plan, and a couple backup plans (you can never be too prepared). Being scared to graduate and not wanting to graduate, however, are two different animals. College is awesome. It is a cruel cosmic joke that it only lasts for four years. But I know that I have a wonderful future waiting for me on the other side of this four-year journey, so I think I'll be okay :)

It may not seem to the untrained eye like I am "free" this summer. Maybe I'm not. But there is a liberating feeling associated with being prepared and ready to take on the future. I have no idea what to expect down the road, but I won't be facing the mysterious whatever unarmed. And apparently it only gets harder from here, so maybe I am just as free as I'll ever be right now. That's fine by me, because I couldn't be happier to be alive and well and oh so blessed :)

Love Like Crazy ♥

Be a best friend
Tell the truth
And overuse "I love you"
And go to work
Do your best
Don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy


This has got to be the best damn advice I have ever heard. My hat is off to Lee Brice for capturing in song the recipe for success and happiness. If more people followed this song as a model for how to live, we would have a perfect world.

At first glance, it doesn't seem remarkably profound, or even difficult. Be a best friend? Easy! I have tons of friends! Okay Mr. Popular. Have you ever been trapped in a place so dark and so alone, unable to find your own way out, until a friend came along to carry you, with a lantern to light your way? Have you ever been that beacon, that savior for somebody when they needed you most? Those are some mighty big boots to fill. Be that best friend, because you might need one someday when you least expect.


Tell the truth??? C'mon, that's obvious! Oh is it? Ever lied to your boss to get out of work? Lied to your parents to get out of trouble? Lied to a friend to stay in their good graces? Lied to yourself? I lied to my parents. Once. I got grounded from the car for a week. I have lied to myself a time or two, convincing myself of things that (clearly) were not so. I ended up in tears. And on the flip-side, I have been lied to by people I care about; honestly, I would rather someone spit in my face than lie to me. It is true what they say that the truth shall set you free. So tell the truth. And don't put up with people who don't.

Overuse "I love you"? It will lose its meaning and it gets old. Telling the special people in your life that you love them should never get old. You should love saying the L word so much that you can never get enough of it. I say "I love you" so many times a day, and yet (despite what some may have you believe) it never loses its meaning because I mean it every. single. time. If you don't mean it, maybe you should take a look in the mirror. Do you even love yourself? If not, how can you possibly have the clarity to love another? No one deserves to be on the short end of that stick. Say "I love you" until you are blue in the face... and then say it some more.

Go to work and do your best. Boring. You get what you give, my friend, you get what you give. Do your best and you get the best. Half-ass it and you will get half-assed in return. It's the Golden Rule, do unto others and whatnot. Don't sell yourself short, and don't short-change everyone else in the process.

Don't outsmart your common sense? What does that even mean? Let me help you out here. Sometimes we have a tendency to think we know better than... well... what it is we know. Remember when you were little and you did something wrong and mom and dad would say "you know better"? Well, the truth of that statement didn't stop with childhood. Even as adults, we make stupid choices. I know I do. Because at our age, we think we know better than everyone. "I'm the only one who has to live my life and I know what I need to be happy." I can give you that one. I sure as hell don't know what exactly you need, but I can usually make a pretty good guess; people are hard to figure out occasionally, but rarely are they impossible. But if you ever have the slightest gut instinct that it's not a good idea, an infinitesimal instinct even, it is probably not the best decision you will ever make. Let your common sense guide you, because if you think you know better than your instincts, you aren't going to get too far. That's how our species managed to make it this long: by not being stupid.

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy. I'm not into that. Okay, I can respect that. Once again, I reference the "trapped in a place so dark and so alone" scenario. Whether you are asking for help from your God/deity/spiritual leader or you feel like you are just asking rhetorical questions to yourself in the dark, that is praying. You don't have to ascribe to any system of belief to ask for help or to say "thank you." All you need is a little humility and an open mind to whatever presents itself, however it presents itself. Give thanks for what you have and don't be afraid to ask for help; it is not a sign of weakness but of strength and great character.

And love like crazy.

Crazy Town

Roll into town, step off the bus
Shake off the where you came from dust
Grab your guitar, walk down the street
The sign says "Nashville, Tennessee"


Every blog needs a schtick. My schtick was to relate my life to music given my very musical family and background. But today I'm just going to talk about some music. Because I can. I spent this evening on the beautiful open road of Central California on my way back to school for the summer.

This is my yellow brick road. "Of course, some people do go both ways." 

-Scarecrow, The Wizard of Oz.

If only it were that easy...

Though I hail from the suburbs, I live near the country. I eat locally grown produce. If I drive for about 10 minutes in any direction, I am surrounded by farms. I have been to an Ag Showcase (they were selling tractors and other fun things!). I ain't no city slicker. BAM! Authenticity. So I turned on my "Summer in the Country" playlist, rolled down the windows, and rocked out the whole way. And today, this man captured my ears and heart.

Hot damn. I will go for a ride on your tractor any day. 

No really, he probably drives a John Deere.

Jason Aldean. I would love to wake up every morning next to that smooth sexy drawl. Wow, did I just say that out loud? That's uncomfortable. Anyway, I have always loved Jason Aldean even though he hasn't quite made it to Urban/Paisley/Chesney fame (he is pretty up there though). Don't get me wrong, people know him; he is important and has many leather-bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany. His talent precedes his name, a quality that is oh-so-rare in music today. His songs have this hard-rock-meets-country thing going on; if there was no fiddle in the intro, you would never know you were about to listen to *GASP* a country song (Give it a listen before you hate; I have converted many nonbelievers). In my mind, this man can do no wrong. Whether he's taking you for a ride on his big green tractor (Big Green Tractor, and no, that is not an innuendo), asking for forgiveness (Why), sittin' and reminiscin' (Laughed Until We Cried), gettin' down in a hicktown (Hicktown), or living off the tips from a pickle jar (Crazy Town). Jason Aldean is a consistent hit-maker. But he didn't start out that way. No one does.


You pay your dues and you play for free
And pray for a honky-tonk destiny.

Which got me thinking. How much cooler would my life be if I pulled a fast one, blew off the university lifestyle, packed my bags and headed for Nashville?

It's a crazy town full of neon dreams
Everybody plays, everybody sings
Hollywood with a touch of twang
To be a star you gotta bang bang bang
Bend those strings 'til the Hank comes out
Make all the drunk girls scream and shout
We love it, we hate it, we're all just tryin' to make it in this crazy town


Right now, I have it pretty good and cushy. I live in a sorority house, I go to school and intern, and I'm planning my future (also cushy) life as a doctor wherein I will drive a nice car, have 2.5 children and a dog and a Dr. Husband McDreamypants, and probably be a soccer mom (bleh! Future children, listen up: play baseball or volleyball, otherwise mommy won't love you. Not true, but kind of). That's nice. But it's not badass. It's not the kind of life that you hear about and say "Wow! That's awesome!" (more like "Wow! She probably has great health insurance." You can put that on my tombstone). Let's compare: 20-year-old girl drops out of college, leaves cushy life behind, grabs her keyboard and boards the next plane bound for Crazy Town. Plays the Nashville scene, a different bar every night hoping to get noticed, living day-to-day trying to get by...

One year they repossess your truck


... and then one day... 


And the next you make a couple million bucks


...you're this girl. Holy hell!

Granted, T. Swift is not what we would call "badass" in any language, but she is doing alright for herself. Okay, back to the Crazy Town. Becoming a professional musician/badass has never really been my calling. Some people are just born with it. My dad, for instance, was born to be a rock star. Though he never achieved fame, he followed his passion and ended up with a job in the music industry that he loved and, at age 60, he still plays every day, rocks out with his band weekly, and has a nice little guitar and bass collection (I think he's got about 40 now? Excessive? Yes). I was not born to be a rock star, but I was born with a bit of a talent for the piano. So a small part of me will always wonder what if? What if I ditched this scholarship-studious-sorority-good-girl life and pursued that talent?

You know, no thanks. I'm very happy with what I've got. That kind of lifestyle would drive me nuts. The late nights. The uncertainty. The never knowing if people are being sincere. The disappointment after disappointment before finally... maybe... making it. I am too square. Simply not badass enough. I'll leave it to Jason Aldean; he's pretty good at it. (Call me).

When The Sun Goes Down

All day long just takin' it easy

Layin' in the hammock where it's nice and breezy

Sleepin' off the night before

'Cause when the sun goes down we'll be back for more.

Summer :) It's About. Damn. Time.


It has been quite some time since I've posted anything -- sorry about that. Here's what I've been up against: I have some exciting news to share (see below, don't want to spoil the surprise yet!) I was sick as a dog for several days and could barely get out of bed, I went to Lake Shasta for Memorial Day Weekend with my best friends, I owned some finals and papers, and now I'm home enjoying the glory that is summer vacation :) Allow me to catch you up to speed:


First things first: I am incredibly honored to be the recipient of the Bettie Locke Hamilton Founder's Memorial Scholarship from the Kappa Alpha Theta Foundation! My mom called me a couple weeks ago when the letter came in the mail and I screamed and burst into tears of joy. This scholarship is incredibly competitive -- 4 women receive the $12,000 award out of over 125 nominees. When I was nominated, I never dreamed in a million years that I would actually receive this honor; it meant the world to me to even be nominated by my chapter. So I would like to say thank you with all of my heart and soul to my wonderful sisters at the Zeta Nu chapter at UC Davis, and the Theta collegians and alumnae who made this award possible. And of course, Miss Bettie Lock Hamilton :)

Bettie Locke Hamilton

Bettie, because you were a trailblazer, Kappa Alpha Theta became the first Greek-letter organization for women in 1870. Two-hundred forty years later, you have afforded me an amazing opportunity, and I can't thank you enough. I plan to study abroad next summer thanks to this wonderful honor! Keep your eyes peeled for more from me about that, but I'm seriously looking into programs in Italy, Spain, and Germany... Stay tuned :)

The following morning, I woke up with the worst sore throat of my life. Just the way I wanted to celebrate my accomplishment :( I took a flashlight to my throat and saw what I thought were the tell-tale signs of Strep throat. Disheartened and in pain, I made my way to urgent care. A rapid strep test proved me wrong. Turns out what I had was viral, which meant three things to me: 1) no medication would make it go away, 2) it was more contagious which means I had to basically isolate myself, and 3) it would be more brutal. Got home, got back into bed, and never looked back... for like 4 days. I pretty much camped out in bed, sleeping for double digit hours, waking up, going back to sleep for the rest of the day. It was a damn good time (not).

I recovered just in time, though, for Houseboats. For those readers unfamiliar with the concept of houseboats, imagine Spring Break in Cabo San Lucas. Then substitute the tropical for the NorCal (you know, think lots of trees and poison oak). Now, add some boats. And about a million amazing memories. Lake Shasta is one of the most gorgeous places I've ever seen...

On this gorgeous lake underneath the warm summer sun, I spent a fun-filled weekend with my best friends. So many great stories and I have no idea where to even start. Meeting not one but two bachelor party boats, watching people eat it coming down the island, the Cougar Slayer, singing country songs with the bachelor party, Emily getting serenaded to Frank Sinatra, cheering for BDP as he worked his game, the list goes on and on and on. There are a few songs whose meanings to me have been forever changed thanks to Houseboats: I'm On a Boat (naturally), Shots, Carry Out, and (for me and Emily) anything by Kenny Chesney.

Now I'm rambling. Let's see, found the best coffee in the universe in Red Bluff, CA. The Human Bean. If you happen to find yourself in Red Bluff for whatever reason (we won't ask questions), PLEASE go give them your business! Not only were they the nicest people, but they make a mighty fine cup o' joe. Order a "Snickers". Trust me. Your life will never be the same.

The week following Houseboats (last week) is all kind of a distant jittery memory at this point. Exams and papers and finals, oh my! I was drinking Go Girls and lattes like they were water. Mistake #1. I must say, however, this quarter's Week 10/Finals was pretty fun -- well, as fun as finals can be. We were all so delirious that everything became a joke, a party, a laugh and a half. Jessica and I sang Britney and Backstreet, Kirstin and I educated the parlor about the dangers of various STIs (ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS use the toilet seat covers), and Marina just laughed a lot. Monday morning I took 2 finals, and by Monday afternoon I was on 99 South :) Had to stop for caffeine along the way; detox is hard.

Where the hell was THIS during finals week???

Home. Sweet. Home! What have I done to enjoy my summer vacation so far? Well, I listened to a lot of Kenny Chesney, had a grilled turkey and swiss from my fave -- The Berrock Shop (old habits die hard!), lounged around the pool, worked on my tan, played with my puppy, got fro-yo, watched Glee with the bestie... a productive break so far :) I have 2 more weeks of this until it's back to the grind in the 530: internships (which I love, please don't get me wrong!) and studying for the MCAT...

I don't really know what to make of this, but it is cute and it

popped up under "mcat" on google image search.

Don't they look happy? They took the MCAT!

Fisiks... I understandz itz... NOT.

And on that note, "when the sun sinks down over the water, everything gets hotter when the sun goes down" :) Summertime and the livin' is easy!

Into the Airwaves

I am slipping into the airwaves

The static's where you'll find me

I have been spending an unnatural amount of time in my car recently. Having two internships in a city 20 miles away makes that happen sometimes. During this quality time with my trusty Toyota, the radio and I have also become better acquainted. As evidenced by the title and theme of my blog, I am a music person. It speaks to me, my life, and my experiences. Having two parents in the business has given me an appreciation for the classic, the off-the-beaten-path, and the outright surreal. Their opinion of modern music, however, is not very favorable. I, on the other hand, love me some pop and hip-hop and downright bad music that would appall my parents. The airwaves have been hosting some pretty good stuff recently. Just like a hostel but for music, good songs come and go, as do some not so good ones, just looking for a warm place to sleep for the night. I want to start with the good stuff, the songs I can't seem to turn off: 

1. Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z

Let's be honest. Deep down, we all want to be hood like Jay-Z. I know I do, sort of. That is why I have made it my goal to learn all the words to this song. I also made Jessica promise that when we are 21 and go to karaoke night, she will rap this song if I do the Lil Wayne part of "Down" by Jay Sean. We shook on it, so it's happening. Anyway, this song makes me want to move to the Big Apple just so every morning can start out like this. The life of Carrie Bradshaw... is there any finer way to live? No. There's something so wildly different about the big city way of life that I want to experience. Maybe not forever, but I'm only young once, right? Like Jay-Z says, you came here for school, graduated to the high life, ball players rap stars addicted to the lime light... Sounds like a good time to me! 

2. Hey Soul Sister by Train

Pat Monahan may have hit his prime stardom in the early 2000s with his band Train, but they have made a phenomenal comeback with this song. Shoot, the song was even in a Samsung TV commercial! There's a distinct style of the dancing-in-your-car dance that one does when this song graces your airwaves. You can always tell when someone is listening to Hey Soul Sister! This song is the most optimistic thing out there right now and you can't help but smile when it's on :)

3. She Won't Be Lonely Long by Clay Walker

Clay Walker may not be a household name in the world of country music, but he has certainly hit it big with this one. It's a song about a woman who is finding her confidence again and that, if Clay Walker had her, he would treat her right. Well that's awfully nice! I recently sent this song to a friend who was having a bit of boy trouble and she absolutely loved it :) I think every girl should hear this song, especially any girl who is going through a rough spot because you are beautiful and you won't be lonely long. Clay Walker will make sure of it!

A few honorable mentions include: "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael, Buble, "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz featuring Ludacris, "In My Head" by Jason DeRulo, and "Water" by Brad Paisley (just in time for summer :)

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Of course, there are also the head-scratchers. I'm willing to be honest with myself here: there may be some overlap between the "songs during which I never change the station" and "songs that I think are ridiculous"... maybe I actually listen to them, occasionally, maybe:

1. Eenie Meenie by Justin Bieber featuring Sean Kingston

I would first like to point out that Justin Bieber is about 6 years old. Perhaps that's why he is describing the girl in his life as an "eenie meenie miney mo lover". Really??? Eenie meenie miney mo is a sacred childhood game used in the most challenging of circumstances where conventional decision making techniques are not sufficient. It is not to be used by burgeoning child pop stars as some sort of strange songwriting schtick. Also, Sean Kingston, really? You used to have street cred. So did Luda. And then you did songs with the Bieber. How are your hood friends taking that? And Justin: repeating words over and over does not count as songwriting. AND YET the record companies have succeeded: it's a damn catchy song, regardless of how stupid it is... I may know some of the words to it. But it's okay because so does Michele (haha, called you out!)

2. Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha

Okay, this is actually without a doubt the worst song I've ever heard. Like I legitimately can't stand this song. But being in a drugs class, I listened to it to determine how valid the lyrics were. Her songwriters may have done their homework because the analogy kind of works. Ke$ha manages to hit on all the classic symptoms of addiction and withdrawal: the paranoia, the physiological effects, the crash and crave... Relative accuracy aside, it may be the dumbest song known to mankind. And it uses the phrase "lovesick crackhead". I think that just shouldn't be allowed.

3. Carry Out by Timbaland featuring Justin Timberlake

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what drive through restaurants have to do with sex, but it is a hilarious song if you really listen carefully. And Justin Timberlake is quite possibly one of the sexiest human beings ever. Some notable lines from this song: "Do you like it well done 'cuz I do it well, I'm well-seasoned if you couldn't tell" and "I'll take two #3s, that's a whole lotta you and a side of me". What??? In high school I worked a couple restaurant jobs and when you are a young blonde high school girl, you sometimes get a little extra attention from the gentlemen of all age groups. But I never received any flirtations quite as scandalous as JT and Timbaland's all out raunch-fest. Although if JT walked into my restaurant, 17-year old me would have had a heart attack and not been conscious for said flirtation. 

Honorable mentions: "I'm Awesome" by Spose (Emily, that's for you:), "BedRock" by Young Money and Lloyd, and "Say Aah" by Trey Songz featuring Fabolous.

Well, that's my analysis of what I think are the best, funniest, and worst songs out there right now. Don't agree with me? Write your own blog! In the meantime, I'm going to go listen to some Justin Bieber. Not really. But maybe if it comes on the radio...

Unwell

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me


"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." These iconic words inscribed on the Statue of Liberty, for over a century, have welcomed the lost and the found, the young and old, the oppression-fleeing and the opportunity-seeking, to America and all of its promise. I spent my afternoon among the tired, poor, huddled masses of Sacramento and I am convinced that this inscription belongs at the entrance to every hospital in our nation, because nothing can describe what I saw today better than this iconic phrase.

The morning began slowly. A handful of accidents, a number of abdominal pains, and some kids with fevers. Nothing remarkable.

And then all hell broke loose.

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, we were slammed. A couple nurses talking among themselves: "Who here is the least sick?" Translation: we need to make room, and fast. Nearly every bed was occupied, the waiting room was packed, ambulances lined up to bring in their casualties, the social worker ran around like mad calling patient family members, gurneys and stretchers flew down the halls like magic carpets, and the staff waded their way through fractures, abrasions, drunkards and overdoses. The halls were lined with occupied gurneys as if they were the latest interior decor. Venturing into the ED (emergency department), what I saw reminded me of the inscription on the Statue of Liberty. Before my eyes huddled the tired, the poor, and those just yearning for care, attention, and comfort. I was transported to a ship circa one hundred years ago, as hopefuls from all over the world took to the seas and braved the wind, rain, and disease for the promise of a better life; here, hopefuls braved their doubts, fears, and ailments for the promise of a healthier life.

It can be hard to see the light in the ED when so much of what comes through is tragic. Both a tragedy and a comedy, however, was a special delivery from EMS. Screaming at volume 11 at no one in particular, this patient was livid about everything and did not go unnoticed. My co-worker turns to me: "Can't they sedate him/her or something?" My response: "They really should give him/her something." A nurse walks by not moments later: "Can we get him/her some Valium?" An EMT strolls by shortly after: "You guys should get him/her some Valium." Good thing all the docs were tied up in resus (the resuscitation room) working on an accident victim and couldn't order any sedatives for the crazy. So for an hour, we all had the pleasure of listening to incredibly loud delusions and accusations of conspiracy. Every patient, nurse, doc, undergrad intern, and med student united in agreement, by a simple smile, a chuckle, a roll-of-the-eye, that this patient was certifiably insane.

A number of incredibly polite patients struck up conversations with us as we observed the urgency swirling around us. "This is a great hospital and if my life was in danger, this is where I'd like to come." "Do you have a sister? You look just like [insert name here], you could pass for her sister!" A couple patients even commented on their very vocal peer, chuckling to themselves, shaking their heads in disbelief... or getting irritated because they wanted to nap. The nurses on duty were working their hearts out trying to handle a growing patient load, God bless them, but one still took a moment to smile sweetly and chat with me quickly about her kids. The EMTs joked with us about the crazy patient as they walked the halls, and the police officers made sure the wandering drunk didn't come near us.

No matter whether rich or poor, in the ED everyone is the same. Scared, lonely, uncomfortable, and yet somehow united in mutual struggle with their own bodies. It was messy, crazy, uncensored, and tragically poetic. There was nothing happening at UCDMC that can't be seen at the average American hospital on an average American day in an average American neighborhood. Today reminded me of one of the many reasons I want to practice medicine: to help those who don't know how to help themselves. One does not need to be poor, incompetent, or even unhealthy to not know how to help themselves, because at the end of the day, we are all just a little unwell.

All The Right Moves

I know we've got it good

But they've got it made

And the grass is getting greener each day

I'm on top of the world, and it's an amazing feeling :)

This week has been absolutely incredible in the most unexpected ways. I don't even know where to start. I'm elated beyond belief to see my parents on Monday! I must be honest and say I'm getting a little homesick; a good dose of love from home will tide me over until after finals, though. This Phi Beta Kappa thing is a huge deal for me and I'm so glad that the people I love most are going to come for it. In addition, I recently learned that I am the recipient of a Kappa Alpha Theta Foundation scholarship! The name of the scholarship and the amount is still a mystery to me and they will mail all that information (checking mailbox frantically). Considering that thousands of Thetas across the country apply for these scholarships, I'm so incredibly honored to be recognized. That was a pleasant email to come home to after a long day of class Friday :)

Less cool to you, but still important for me: I turned in what I consider my life's work (like literally, a paper about my life). What a learning experience. It's always a challenge to write about yourself in a formal way and then give it to someone to evaluate. But never before have I had the opportunity to explore my feelings and beliefs with such depth and such free reign. Blood, sweat, and tears went into that paper (figuratively). Turning in a hard copy of my life was indescribably liberating. All at once, a huge load was lifted off my shoulders and I felt so empowered and in control. After making a truly candid assessment of my life and who I am at the most basic level, I am so profoundly self-aware. It feels pretty awesome to really know who I am, how I feel, and how I got this way.

In addition, I'm starting to get the ball rolling on my new studies with the Cardiology Department. I will be writing an honors thesis next year and presenting my findings at the Undergraduate Research Conference. Okay, so this is all way in advance, a whole year away, but I'm thrilled. For whatever reason, I am oddly passionate about ICDs. Maybe because I've been working with them for the whole school year, maybe because how they work is pretty damn cool. Most likely because my daddy got one a few months ago, so they hit home for me. It is as if me understanding more about them will help my dad understand them and not be scared :) Regardless, I'm looking forward to investigating patient perceptions of their care in comparison to hospital records to see whether in-person or remote appointments result in higher quality care. Global, right? I am incredibly excited to have such a wonderful opportunity :)

And my friends. Yesterday afternoon, I enjoyed perhaps the most stereotypically sorority moment of my life. With our formal just a week away, it was time to go shopping... in everyone else's closets! We joke about it during Recruitment, saying "I love living in the house because I have 32 other closets to shop from!", but it's true. We bartered dresses and searched for the perfect shoes without dropping a single dime, without leaving home. Afterward, we headed to campus to see Birdstrike Theater, a comedy improv student group. Oh my goodness I laughed the whole time and gave my abs a solid workout! I had a heart-to-heart with my little sis this morning. Love that girl with all my heart. She teaches me so much all the time. I feel like sometimes I'm the little sis ;) And Michele, you dance beautifully and you amaze me; all your hard work paid off ten-fold. Can't wait to work the dancefloor with you next weekend!

I have arrived at this place in my life where I'm so ready to start it, start everything. I've wanted to be a doctor since I was 6 years old, so this whole waiting game is getting pretty old. I am so fortunate to have found a passion and a goal that motivates me to reach higher than I thought I possibly could. Never in a million years imagined that I would be so passionate about a little tiny heart device. Never in a million years saw myself drawn to the unpredictability and downright messiness of the Emergency Department. Never say never. I am even more lucky to have people surrounding me pushing me to be the very best version of myself. The motivation and dedication of the people who love me is astounding. Friendship is a selfless yet mutual endeavor. I would do anything and everything to ensure that my friends are happy, healthy, and successful, and I know that they would do the same for me. I have seen it, I have lived it, and I consider myself honored. We've got it good, got it made, and the grass is only getting greener.

I'm on top of the world. Come join me :)