I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said I'd shout out an order, I think we're out of this man get me some Boy don't make me wanna change my tone Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here If I were someone else, would this all fall apart Strange, where were you when we started this gig I wish the real world would just stop hassling me
This is what me studying looks like... yep, working on my blog.
I've got it bad: SENIORITIS... Symptoms include: getting up 15 minutes before class (maximum), catching up on your blog/pleasure reading/Twitter/fave TV shows instead of required reading, meeting up with friends for the standard college "fro-yo" date when you know you have a test coming up, worrying about finding a job, resolving that you're never going to actually find a job, not worrying about a job because you realize you plan on going to medical school in a year and you'll be poor for years to come so why get used to having money now?, complaining about freshmen, contemplating how much has changed in four short years... if you experience any of these symptoms for more than 3 days, consult a medical professional, therapist, major/academic advisor, or a bottle of merlot.
Even though it seems like college has run its course and we're both ready for a change (college and I are ready to go our separate ways, but we will always think of each other fondly), sometimes I wish the real world would just stop hassling me so I can enjoy what time I have left. But hassle it does. And listen I must. And for as annoying and ever-present as the future can be, it can be an exciting thing to consider.
*Transition to something that seems unrelated at first but gets tied together at the end in a cute life lesson, like an episode of Scrubs!*
22 life lessons and 22 episodes of Scrubs in one neat package!
SO MANY LIFE LESSONS!
Last night, I was studying for a midterm that will never serve me well in the real world. Seriously, copulatory behaviors of bees will not be a big focus of my life's work, no matter how hard I pretend to try to care. Also, I'm terrified of bees.
Honestly look me in the eye and tell me that this isn't the creepiest thing you've ever seen.
Anyway, I was trying to find some decent background tunes so I wouldn't stab my eyes out with my highlighter, which I don't imagine would be terribly effective. All of a sudden, I started missing my keyboard; I often have the urge to do anything but study when I really really need to (senioritis), and last night I just wanted to jam... the best I could do was put on Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind", a song that I have always been fond of and I used to know how to play it. Sidebar: when I graduate and get my own place with more space, my keyboard and I will be roomies and we are going to get reacquainted with the great tunes of the Beatles, Billy Joel, and Ray Charles :) ANYWAY, enough of my tangential nonsense... I was listening to NYSOM and asked iTunes to make a Genius playlist.
Best. Decision.
For those unfamiliar with the iTunes Genius function, a crash course: Select a song in your music library. Click the "Genius" button.
Genius!
Voila! iTunes chooses similar songs and makes a playlist. SO, I clicked "Genius" and a star was born. I mean it. Perfect study playlist. It truly belongs in a museum of the greatest things ever created in the history of everything (no, the caffeine is not affecting my perception).
But nothing in life is perfect... this playlist, without even realizing it was doing it, forced me to come to terms with my impending future (as everything seems to do these days). Here is a sampling of song titles to show you what I mean:
Real World by Matchbox Twenty
Sweetest Goodbye by Maroon 5
Movin' Out by Billy Joel
Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis
Bright Lights by Matchbox Twenty.
Talk about in your face! But with that in mind, I am ready for a change. As much as I have loved my time at UC Davis, I am ready to try something new whether it is a new job, living situation, or school; I'm really crossing my fingers for all three!
In a strange way, this list also reminded me of a simpler time: when I lived at home. My Genius list was littered with the singers and bands of my childhood: Matchbox Twenty, the Goo Goo Dolls, John Mayer (early era, pre-Aniston-Simpson-Swift), Coldplay. Songs that I grew up to. While forcing me to grow up, it simultaneously encourages me to be the young, carefree, alive child that listened to these songs for so many years. I have gotten all philosophical in 2011 because there is a countdown to the big day (121 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes, 42 seconds) and I am suddenly very aware. So please bear with me while I get contemplative for a moment. Instead of fearing the future, we should embrace it like a child would a game or a new playmate. The children's classic novel The Phantom Tollbooth puts it best: "the way you see things depends a great deal on where you look at them from". A new situation can be intimidating if you let it scare you... or you could grab the bull by the horns instead of running from it.
My, grandma, what big horns you have!
Perhaps the best part about growing up and moving on is being able to approach new, life-affirming experiences with childlike wonder and optimism.
Take another hundred names and put 'em on a list And curse yourself forever watching it I'm looking to have to see it to the end 'Cause the fastest rat is always gonna win
Welcome, dear reader, to my first entry of 2011! Woo! It only took me almost a month :| A dear friend of mine and I have a motto for this year: "It's two-thousand-freaking-eleven!" That is to say, this year is going to be awesome. We came up with this motto on New Years Eve over lunch where we dished about everything in our lives. The reason this motto came into being was simple: each of us had a pretty rough go of some things for the last 365 days, and we were tired of it! 2009 was cool, 2010 was less so. Frankly, we felt we had earned some awesomeness for simply putting up with 2010 So, here we are. It's two-thousand-freaking-eleven. Let's take a look at what's happened so far?
School started up again, very abruptly might I add. That being said, my classes are great. Last quarter (and a bit of my junior year) was comprised of awful awful classes -- except chicken lab; chicken lab RULED. Anyway, there is nothing exciting to say about school. I go to class, professor talks, I listen, I write, professor gives exams, I take them. Standard operating procedure.
I started looking for a J-O-B. Needless to say, my daily ice cream consumption has increased substantially. I also cry more often. And I watch a lot of Gilmore Girls as my anti-"I'm-going-to-be-unemployed-and-living-in-a-box"-depressant.
Gotta catch 'em all!
I also started looking for an apartment. I have to move out of Theta by September. Leaving this house is a bittersweet thought because I have lived here for three years. It has become my home. And then the other night, there were fraternity boys outside my window smoking and laughing and being obnoxiously loud at 2am. At that moment, the thought of moving out became much more sweet than bitter. I hope to find a place with my friend Sarah in a complex largely populated by grad students and professors. Quiet. Serious. Few to no undergrad parties. It will also be nice to have 50% control of the TV instead of 3% control. Math win.
I got sick. It started as a tickle in my throat. Just a tickle. But an exciting and hectic day at the ER turned that tickle into a sick-le... wow, terrible rhyme attempt, so sorry about that. I am the crabbiest sick person ever. I laid around for 5 days, watched hours of Sex and the City and When Harry Met Sally (so, not all bad), didn't study for my midterm because I was so fatigued and still rocked it (damn it feels good to be a gangster), ate literally nothing but soup at each meal (I'm so over non-solid food), and coughed, sneezed, and ached all weekend. Awesome doesn't even begin to describe it :(
(Confusion: Glenn Beck is for sure on Fox News Channel, not CNN, a network with actual standards)
I LOVE that this came up when I Googled "sick"...
... but it was more like this.
The medical school application process became a lot more real once the clock struck 12 on New Years. I met up with a friend of mine who is a third year MD/PhD student at UC Davis School of Medicine to pick his brain about how the process works, where I should apply, how to approach certain interview questions, and everything under the sun. I left our meeting with a wealth of information and a confidence boost, ready to tackle this whole overwhelming, complicated process. Immediately upon arriving home, I ordered the MSAR from amazon.com. For those not in the know, the Medical School Admission Requirements (MSAR) is the premier resource for the aspiring pre-med and the only resource officially endorsed by the Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC). That is to say, it is the real deal.
And then it came in the mail. My stomach found its way up to my throat (need a map, stomach?) as I opened the box.
Map: Stomach south. Throat north.
In my hand, I held the key to start this engine. It was kind of like that moment when New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg pushes the little crystal ball to start the traditional ball drop on New Years Eve in Times Square (the little ball functions more like a button, really). He pushes the crystal button down and it lights up and locks in place, while the famous Waterford Crystal ball atop One Times Square starts descending, majestically yet pain-stakingly slowly.
Any day now!
That's is what it felt like receiving my personal copy of the MSAR. I had pushed the ball down, but I still have to wait. And naturally, that was my cue to start freaking out. Night after night I poured over it, making notes, concocting reasons, justifying my very very long list. Until last week, when I finalized the list.
This list is a work of art. It is no B-List. It contains 25 top-notch A-List medical schools who will receive my money, my essays, bits and pieces of my soul, and perhaps my first-born child. And now I feel like that Times Square ball is descending just a bit faster now. Of course, I will be taking this list and the MSAR home over President's Day Weekend, and my mom and dad are going to try and cut my list down, for money's sake. But like I told my mom over the phone, unless any of these schools burn down between now and then (please no), or unless she can give me an overwhelmingly compelling reason, the list stands. Have you ever tried narrow down 126 options to 25? It's hard!
And now I find myself in Winter Quarter Week 4: the calm before the storm after the storm? ("He needs more blankets and he needs less blankets!" Please tell me you've seen "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story... it's only the best movie ever... but I digress). Round 1 of midterms over. Senior thesis in full "oh shoot I'm writing a thesis" mode; that is to say, I'm going to start writing it this weekend, I swear. Internships pulling me this way and that way and stretching me thinner-than-thin. But I love it :) And a presentation to give in two days in an effort to get a job (yes, a J-O-B). And I'm blogging instead?!
Well, I have been working on it for hours. And a phone call home that I hoped would be a nice break ended up stressing me out... to the point of not being able to work/study anymore tonight :/ some days are just like that. So I just decided that it was time to sit down and write a bit...
Unrelated to anything except writing, I am currently looking into a freelance writing job writing about (wait for it)... whatever I want!:) I had a fun idea for a column/article/thing and I want some feedback from the one or two people who actually read my bloggy blog! So us ladies read Cosmo like it's Gospel, which breaks down every single thing the mens do into (sometimes incorrect) analyses of "well what does _______ (behavior) mean?" so we can hope to understand them. And there's even a movie about it: He's Just Not That Into You. But pick up a copy of GQ (or in my case, check out gq.com) and the only Cosmo-esque "analysis" of women that you get is one sentence about Mila Kunis' acting career (she was a stoner chick on That 70s Show, oh and she was a dark, sexy ballet dancer in Black Swan -- extent of words about Miss Kunis) and several photographs of her with smoky makeup and skimpy, cleavage-baring fashions. And yet, the mens always claim to not understand women. That's where I come in: She's Just Not That Into You.
Us gals have more complicated strategies for ditching the guys we're not interested in than not calling. We also do silly little things (emphasis on little) when we like a guy, and we get upset when he doesn't notice! If I've learned anything from reading Cosmo, it's that the gentlemen are BIG PICTURE oriented (girl pretty), while the dames are more into the little gestures and minutiae (oh my god he said "I had a great time tonight" do you think he likes me did I totally blow it already should we honeymoon in Paris?). In a nutshell, we don't speak the same language because of the way our brains are wired and learned social roles; men bond over activities like sports, women bond over talking and sharing... let's call the whole thing off. (start listening ~0:37)
So, my pitch is She's Just Not That Into You, a breakdown of what us ladies are thinking, why we do and say the (sometimes crazy) things we do, and how to know if we are interested, unsure, or looking for the nearest exit.
Feedback about the concept is appreciated :) it's just a seed of an idea so far; I need to write up a sample column and submit it as a writing sample to potentially get the gig. This is something I would write just for fun (and a few bucks on the side). I don't claim to be an expert on relationships, love, or dating but I am in a sorority and I live with 32 other females, so I understand a thing or two about how girls behave. Nutshell: most female behavior is motivated by boys, shoes, and chocolate.
I must bid you adieu, fair reader, before my fingers fall off; I have things to do, and I imagine you do too. I love you :) Goodnight, sleep tight :)
Another turning point a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go So make the best of this test and don't ask why It's not a question but a lesson learned in time It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right I hope you had the time of your life
As 2010 draws to a close, everyone in the world takes a moment to think back on the last 365 days: what was great, what went wrong, and what we'd rather forget. Based on conversations I've had with dear friends, and the status of literally everyone I know on Facebook, it seems as though everyone had the kind of 2010 that I did... that is to say, we are all ready to say "good riddance" to 2010 and ring in the new year for a fresh start.
2010 got off to a rough start. New responsibilities in Theta. Juggling VP-ship with friendship. Killer hard classes. Family health problems. Girls deliberately making my life hell. Major Taylor Swift moments (not the adorable kind). Thanks, 2010. Most appreciated.
That's not to say that there weren't wonderful things that have happened to me this year. I got a new internship. I was selected to be in Phi Beta Kappa. I was awarded a generous and prestigious scholarship. I aced the MCAT. I got another internship (three total -- yes, I'm nuts). I turned 21. I am writing a senior thesis. I found out I will be presenting this research at a national conference to very important people. I have people offering to write letters of recommendation for my medical school applications. A job opportunity just fell into my lap. And I have done it all with friends and family by my side. Laughing together. Crying together. But always always together.
As you can see, the "my 2010 sucked" paragraph is significantly shorter than the "my 2010 rocked" paragraph. Any logical person would then assume that I came out on top.
And I did.
Everyone has to deal with their own crappy days, crappy weeks, crappy months. We all get dealt a worthless hand every now and then (seriously, what am I going to do with a pair of two's?). For awhile, the sucky stuff took over. You know, when it rains, it pours? That kind of situation. But I found that when I adjusted my attitude and stopped caring about things I couldn't change, everything started going right. Really really right. I can't make people like me, I won't let a bad grade get me down, and I refuse to let an emotional and complicated situation get the best of me.
So to the people who helped me get through some rough times: thanks for being the same people that made the great times truly grand :)
Cheesy shout-out time (in alphabetical order):
Annalyse: Thank you for sending me a simple facebook message that sparked a friendship. And for being a constant support and source of inspiration in the form of short and sweet text messages. And a source of laughter (remember that email? I do ;) And thank you for introducing me to Jack's Mannequin!
Emily: Thank you for not allowing me to feel bad for venting... frequently. And thank you for buying me coffee when I desperately needed it. Anyone who has the patience to interact with a caffeinated panicked person is a saint in my eyes. And thank you for listening, always listening, and saying "that was music to my ears!" because we both know it was :) And for introducing me to Afroman :) HB2K10 will always be a beautiful, ridiculous and fond memory! Can't wait for 2K11!
Jessica: Thank you for keeping me sane through the MCAT, for always making Tacos and Beer the only lunch option worth considering, for listening to my random bouts of hysterical venting, for sharing with me your random bouts of hysterical venting, for convincing the world that I'm in love with Justin Bieber, for being my beloved next-door neighbor and most of all for being weird... with me :)
Katrina: Thank you for offering to do hilariously terrible things to the people that wronged me. It is nice to have a friend so fiercely loyal... and shameless :) Thank you for comforting me until 4am, and for picking up the phone when I needed a friend. And for giving everyone beads on Houseboats and being the best damn El Capitan. And for making "Kelly is done with the MCAT" jello shots. And for telling that creepy guy at Froggy's that it was time for us to go. That was a clutch move.
Lindsey: Thank you for coffee dates and jokes about Snuggies. I treasure our dates so so much and I can't wait to hear more of your stories. We live such sexy lives, don't we :)
Mia: Thanks for being you :) "Shut the f*** up, girlfriend!" Need I say more?
Michele: Thank you for being the sarcastic beez that I love and adore. Thank you for Giants games and wine coolers in the summer, for Gilmore marathons and presenting me with a plate of cookies when I didn't even realize you were baking them while I was having a terrible day. And thank you for the New Years Eve that is about to occur that we will never forget :)
Mom and Dad: You already know.
And to everyone who made my 2010 a little bit less than perfect: You should've known better ;)
So Cheers! Out with the old, in with the new! Happy 2011 everyone :)
Here's hoping you don't have a "brain hemorrhage" in 2011!
Don't say yes Run away now I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door Don't wait or say a single vow You need to hear me out And they said "speak now"
After a two month hiatus, I'm back... at least for awhile. I can fill you in on the last two months, but nothing super exciting happened. Fall Quarter, studying, midterms, papers, internships, turning 21 (oh, that one was kind of cool :), finding out I will be presenting our Cardiology study at a national conference (oh yeah, that's pretty cool too)... So hopefully you can forgive me, dear reader, for my absence; I've been a little busy.
Once again, Ode to Joy claims to be a music-inspired-ish blog. So I'll give the dirty deets on my life another time. But first I should do myself justice by talking tunes.
Every once in awhile, I get into music "moods" I guess you could call them. Moods where I only listen to about 10 or 15 songs on repeat until they make me want to vomit (or was that from one too many rum and cokes? After all, I am 21 now... just kidding, mom). Recently I've been in a Taylor Swift mood. Call me tween. Call me girly. Call me whatever you want, but homegirl knows what's up. (I've also been in a bit of a Darius Rucker mood, which led me to discover Hootie and the Blowfish... developing obsession, will discuss in future blog). Miss Swift is a 21 year old Pennsylvania sweetheart who has had her fair share of love troubles; pick up any issue of Entertainment Weekly from the past 3 years if you don't believe me. She proves that the pen is mightier than the sword through her songs - whether she is getting back at a girl for stealing her man or saying sorry to a boy for breaking his heart, she proves that there really is a song for every love story, happy ending or not.
So naturally, being a girl and therefore susceptible to troubles of the heart set to snappy pop-country beats, I've become obsessed with her latest album Speak Now. And I plan to review it for you :)
Track 1: Mine Do you remember we were sittin' there by the water You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Okay, so besides the fact that this is the most adorable music video I have ever seen, the song has a good message. Love always starts off wonderfully and full of butterflies and puppies and rainbows, but the honeymoon phase is not supposed to last forever. Bills pile up, fights happen, and sometimes things feel like they are falling apart. Love is not easy. And anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool. But Taylor reminds us that if you can remember how you felt about that person the first time they put an arm around you, if you can remember why you love them in the first place, that you can make it last. Love is never easy, but if you are with someone who can also remember how they felt about you that very first time, then you can work through it and be happy together. Now isn't that sweet?
Track 2: Sparks Fly Drop everything now Meet me in the pouring rain Kiss me on the sidewalk Take away the pain 'Cause I see sparks fly Whenever you smile
This is far and away my favorite song from this album, and fortunately it is not a hit yet because I know exactly what will happen if it becomes one: every radio station will play it incessantly to the point that I want to rip my stereo out of my car and throw it out the window on I-80. And I don't want that to happen to my favorite song. Anyway, this one is about meeting someone that absolutely captivates you... even though he may not be the best idea. It's about not listening to what your mind is telling you. At it's core, it's about attraction. None of us are immune to it. Sometimes your mind knows best, but what fun is that? It's cute, it's upbeat, it's relatable. And frankly, the idea of being so attracted to someone that sparks fly whenever they smile at you sounds pretty hot.
Track 3: Back to December So this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night And I go back to December all the time It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine I go back to December, turn around and make it alright I go back to December all the time
Cue depressing breakup song. We all knew it was coming. Okay, I knock it because it's pretty standard Taylor, but I truly enjoy this song. It hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it because it sounded very familiar; I was not in her position, but I've actually been the subject of a storyline much like this one. Rumor has it this song is about Mr. Taylor Lautner (aw, Taylor and Taylor). Apparently, she broke his heart last December and she regrets it. It might be a little too late now, Miss Swift, but it's nice to hear her sincerity. Not everyone gets an apology when a relationship ends terribly, so I hope Taylor Lautner considers himself lucky. And how can any normal person's apology remotely match up to a Taylor Swift apology? She has a freaking orchestra and a recording contract to back her up. No fair.
Track 4: Speak Now I hear the preacher say "speak now or forever hold your peace" There's the silence, there's my last chance I stand up with shaky hands All eyes on me I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion But you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl...
For the most part, this song is really stupid. I won't hide my feelings about it. It says things like "wearing a gown shaped like a pastry" and "the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march". Well, her lyrics can't all be winners; clunkers happen even to the best of songwriters. That being said, this song is on my Top 25 playlist on iTunes. Why, you ask? If you think the lyrics are dumb, why do you listen to it so much? you ask. All valid questions. I answer you with this: do you have the pelotas to stand up at a wedding, or at any time really, and say what you really feel? I don't either, which is why I admire this song. It encourages you to not let a word go unsaid, because you never know when, or even if, you will get the opportunity ever again. So Taylor, I applaud you. Arguably one of your dumbest songs is inspiring. You have a gift.
Track 5: Dear John Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone Don't you think I was too young to be messed with The girl in the dress cried the whole way home I should've known
Skip it. Skip this song. It is annoying. I adore Taylor Swift, and I love John Mayer's music. But every woman on earth knows what a womanizer he is, so I have a hard time feeling sorry for Tay. Yes, you should have known. So please skip this song if you don't want to be frustrated. And using his name in the title? A cry for attention much?
Track 6: Mean Someday I'll be living in a big old city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?
Apparently some music critic said some pretty mean things about Taylor, so on the surface that is what "Mean" is about. This is also not one of my favorite tracks, but I will choose not to berate it in favor of the stronger message it sends. Many gay teens have committed suicide recently due to bullying and these stories have taken over the headlines, inspiring the "It Gets Better" project. This project is a pledge to end hateful and intolerant speech. Though Taylor was inspired by a mean ol' guy who criticized her music, this song can be an "It Gets Better" message to people that are bullied, letting them know that someday they will be successful and all a bully will ever be is mean.
Track 7: The Story of Us Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room And we're not speaking And I'm dying to know is it killing you Like it's killing me I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
If I have ever heard a song that almost every girl can relate to, this is the one. I don't even know what to say about this song because it speaks for itself. The awkward run-in with the ex, the not wanting to admit that you were wrong (because of course you weren't), the dying to know how he feels... we've all been there and we all know how much it sucks. It's like you're standing alone in a crowded room. She really hits the nail on the head with this one, so I don't want to say anything more to screw it up because I can't really do this song any more justice than has already been done by its simply existing.
Track 8: Never Grow Up Oh darling don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up Just stay this little Oh darling don't you ever grow up Don't you ever grow up It could stay this simple
I am way to close to graduating from college to listen to this song. It hits way too close to home, because come June 10th, 2011, I have to grow up :( It's bittersweet because I have an amazing life plan and I can't wait to get started, but change is hard. So, I recommend skipping this song until further notice.
Track 9: Enchanted This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you
I love this song. I absolutely love this song. It is so full of raw emotion and longing and I can't help but blast it in the car and sing at the top of my lungs. I can't quite relate to this song, because clearly Miss Swift lives an enchanted life wherein she meets beautiful boys that captivate her and aren't super sleazy. Well, I live in a college town. The closest I get to such an encounter is meeting a boy out on the town and chatting for a bit before figuring out that he's a sleaze looking for a hookup which he will not be getting. Much less romantic. Regardless, listening to this song I can almost picture Taylor (or myself for that matter) meeting an enchanting boy and walking home in New York City dancing and blushing and full of butterflies. It is a powerful image that I think every girl would love to experience.
Track 10: Better Than Revenge She's not a saint and she's not what you think She's an actress She's better known for the things that she does On the mattress Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys on the playground Won't make you many friends She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind There is nothing I do better than revenge
Is her bark worse than her bite? A multi-million dollar recording contract does make that bite a lot juicier, that's for sure. Taylor barks pretty loud in this song about Miss Camilla Belle, a young actress who began dating Joe Jonas shortly after Swift and Jonas split. I would not want to be on this girl's bad side, that's for sure. "Better Than Revenge" is catchy and ballsy and I love Taylor Swift all the more for it.
Track 11: Innocent It's alright, just wait and see Your string of lights are still bright to me Who you are is not where you've been You're still an innocent
Skip it. Spoiler alert: she forgives Kanye West for his horribly rude interruption at the 2009 VMAs.
Track 12: Haunted Come on come on don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong You're all I wanted Come on come one don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Can't breathe whenever you're gone Can't turn back now I'm haunted
Taylor proves that she is not all sugar and spice with this song. Like "Enchanted", this song is so powerfully full of emotion that you can't help but feel something huge when you hear it. I think every girl has a relationship that haunts her for awhile, and Taylor Swift manages to capture that feeling of loss, confusion, and desperation perfectly and, well, hauntingly. I won't try to explain further because everything this song means is already so perfectly encapsulated in the track itself.
Track 13: Last Kiss I never thought we'd have a last kiss Never imagined we'd end like this Your name forever the name on my lips
Cue super depressing breakup song, part two. As a song, it's fine. A little slow, but it's sentimental and sad and emotional and painful and relatable. So I guess it's a good song, all things considered. The line that gets me the most is "how you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something / There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions". (Side note, boys, that's ADORABLE. If you want to earn points with your girlfriend, start watching chick flicks. That shit is a goldmine of adorable gestures that are completely unrealistic. We ladies have lowered our standards significantly because we have experienced that most guys are jerks and we are impressed if he even holds open a door. So if you pull off some "27 Dresses" or "The Notebook"-type stunts, you're in. But don't follow my advice if you don't want to; just keep doing what you've been doing and let me know how that works out for you). Back to the song: going through a breakup is hard, and thinking of all the little things you'll miss makes it even harder. It's been my experience that the hardest part of a relationship ending is not the "big picture" -- the "why" of why things ended, because everyone involved usually can cope with the "why" -- but rather the "what" -- the "what" that is now absent. The little interruptions. The jokes. The nicknames. The random text messages about nothing more than letting each other know that you are thinking about them. What Taylor fails to mention is that it gets better, and that hole in your life becomes a distant memory when you move forward.
Track 14: Long Live Long live the walls we crashed through All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you I was screaming long live all the magic we made And bring on all the pretenders One day we will be remembered
Aw, this one is about her band. That's sweet. But apparently they are a band of time-traveling warriors or something because they fight dragons and tear down walls and stuff. Oh, that's all metaphorical? Ohhhhh, got it. I tease. This song is really cute and very powerful; I get the sense that she legitimately loves her band. Once again, I don't have a whole lot to say about this one because it pretty much speaks for itself, but I'm glad that a girl with so much to be grateful for gives credit where credit is due. She reminisces about their journey together from baseball cap and ripped-up jeans-wearing small town kids to stardom, and she revels in their journey together. Yeah, this one I can't relate to so much, as I am not an international pop superstar. But I like listening to it, so I guess she has got the appeal thing figured out.
Wow, this post is long. I did review an entire album that I listen to pretty much every day track by track, so I don't feel bad about it, although I can't help but feel like I didn't do it justice. After all, I'm just a college student with some free time that likes to write about my life and my favorite music. I'm really no one special, but I've been listening to this album so much lately that I thought there was no better way to jump back into my blog than to review it. It's nice to be back. Fall Quarter was incredibly hectic. I think my diet consisted of 90% coffee and 10% jelly beans because I was always on the go, so it is nice to sit down after finals and just throw some ideas down on... computer? (Writing cliches was a lot easier when pen-and-paper was still fashionable). And now my senior year is 1/3 over. Shit. (Pardon my language, mom). There is no other word to describe what I'm feeling right now. Excitement for the future, yet afraid of leaving the past behind me. Ready to be out on my own, but not ready to leave the comfort of the college bubble. I have resolved to make this year the best one yet, because I won't ever get this chance again. So not only should I Speak Now, but it is even more imperative that I do now, because who knows if I will ever have the chance to be this young, this free, ever again. Thanks for the lesson, Taylor ♥ I'm going to go do something now :)
In case you haven't heard the news, read my facebook, received an enthusiastic text message, or heard me screaming with delight, I am done with the MCAT forever :) I received my scores today at promptly 2:26pm after I got home from class and calmed my nervous tremors long enough to type in my AAMC login. Those numbers popped up on my screen and I started shaking with excitement. All that ran through my head as I looked at my scores and percentiles was "I did it!" I am a very happy girl right now!
As if satisfying scores weren't enough, I received a whole lotta lovin' today :) Phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook posts, high-fives and hugs started rolling in not long afterwards. One friend actually stepped out of class to call me because it was 2:30 and she had not heard from me or seen a facebook update yet (I was calling my parents at the time and I apologize most sincerely for not updating all of my social media outlets;) And another friend called me simply to tell me that I am a badass. So to each and every one of you, thank you from the very bottom of my heart.
The bottom of my heart.
But really, I can't possibly ever thank you enough. Thanks for keeping me motivated. Thanks for keeping me sane. And thanks for keeping me encouraged.
As if all that wasn't enough, I received a text message from my now-graduated-and-in-grad-school roommate from last year that I am in the latest issue of the Kappa Alpha Theta Magazine! Awesomeness :) I have yet to see it, but believe me I will be checking the mail hourly until it arrives! Once again, thank you Bettie Locke for everything you have done (oh not much, just founding the first greek letter organization for women) and all my sisters. Theta love :)
Best day ever? Quite possibly.
MCAT, if I never see your face again, I won't mind :) I put in my time, and it paid off immensely.
Now off to bed so I can face another beautiful, busy, exciting day in the life!
And 18 days, 23 hours, and 47 minutes until my birthday! October, I'm loving you so far!!!
After a long absence from the bloggernet, here I am again. About one month later. One month older, one month wiser. So much has happened! My goodness, I should never neglect my blog for this long ever again! Also, I don't know why, but the font looks different than usual. I don't like it :( This is why I should not be away for so long; I forget how to do things!
First: Recruitment. That two-week period every September where Theta takes over my life and I forget that I know other people. But I love it :) Two very long weeks culminated in an AMAZING new pledge class and our house has never been closer :) Recap of Recruitment: "look, there's a dude!", "my favorite thing about prison...", "I'm a part of a LobbyCorps which is a group on campus...", "L-Dog and K-Girl!", "YOU HAVE CHARACTER FLAWS!"... and so many more wonderful memories :)
Next: School... is hard. I am taking three classes this fall, but don’t be fooled; they will not be a walk in the park. Let’s start with PE. Andrea Khoo will try her best to kill me this year in Aerobic Toning Interval. Imagine the hardest workout you’ve ever done, except now you’re being trained by a body-building, kickboxing female who has abs firmer than you can EVER hope for, who does not let you use weights less than 10 pounds. The bright side: she makes awesome playlists. Of course, when she’s kicking your ass with 500 squats and lunges, it is hard to pay attention to her awesome remix of “Pokerface”. I am also taking a Volleyball PE class which should be great fun! There are 3 other Thetas in that class, and we are gearing up for our IM Volleyball team... Go Thetarade! :) I’ve enjoyed getting back into the game recently! Now the actual classroom stuff. COM 2: Great Books of the Middle Ages to the Enlightenment. Read: Sucks. I like reading books in very straightforward language; I'm a "To Kill A Mockingbird" kind of girl. So that should be fun... not. GEL 107: Earth History and Paleobiology. So far, boring. We talk about fossils and other old things. I'm waiting for it to get good (DINOSAURS), but so far, no dice. NPB 111L: Advanced Systemic Physiology Lab, more fondly known as "The Chicken Lab". Yes, you read correctly. Chicken.
Chicken.
Yep, I'm going to hell.
In the chicken lab, we learn about the scientific process... and we get to slice open a chicken and do stuff to it. I feel really bad about it, really I do, but it's a pretty unique opportunity (and a class for my major). In just over a week, I will be donning surgical gloves to conduct a variety of trials on the chicken's cardiovascular system. Eep. Not sure what to expect, but I'm actually pretty excited about it. Although, I may never be able to eat a piece of chicken ever again...
Lastly and most recently: MLB POSTSEASON!!! In the most important afternoon of my baseball fandom and in the single best game of baseball I have ever watched, the Giants shutout the Padres 3-0 to clinch the NL West Championship and rightfully earn a spot in the playoffs. The last time my beloved Giants were in the playoffs was in 2002, where they were nearly eliminated in each series (typical) and dropped the World Series to the Los Angeles Angels and their stupid Rally Monkey in 7 games.
Stupid rally monkey.
Yes, in 2002 Game 6 of the World Series, we blew it. We were leading 3 games to 2. And then we weren't.
I have waited patiently for 8 years to see my boys make it to the postseason again. And for 7 of those years, I have been disappointed. They string me along and then break my heart just when I get invested. But not this time :) Because today, with the postseason on the line in the very last game of the regular season, my boys showed me that my faith was not misplaced. Today, the San Francisco Giants, became champions! Can't wait for postseason play! As I've said before, I'm a very superstitious baseball person, so I won't say what I'm thinking, but: the World Series starts 2 days after my 21st birthday, and I'm hoping to see some familiar jersey numbers on the field :)
I knew it all along. Even when they were 9 games out of first, I kept the faith. Don't stop believin' :)
Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true.
I'M DONE!
I'M F***ING DONE!!!
I am over the moon, over the rainbow, over whatever other sort of heavenly body you can think of. After the longest, most stressful, most disciplined summer of my life, I can finally... relax.
After my MCAT was through, I was barraged with phone calls, text messages, and Facebook posts, all to the effect of "Congrats!" or "You're done!" or "Time to celebrate" or "I love you!" or, my favorite "Kelly is getting drunk tonight!!!" Not really, but I appreciate the sentiment! All of this left me with one feeling: overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by the amazing people in my life (in a very very good way). I am overwhelmed by the fact that I am one step closer to realizing my dreams. I am overwhelmed that my brain is actually entirely non-functional and I suspect a little jello-y. I am overwhelmed that taking my MCAT felt pretty much just like taking every practice test, except I got fingerprinted today. I am overwhelmed that I spent about six hours on the couch today, just relishing in my ability to relax without feeling guilty. It is as if a thousand pound weight was lifted off my shoulders.
And it feels. so. good. :)
Mom and Dad and I toasted with some champagne and went out for lunch, where I was hoping the cute bartender would say, "Oh you just took your MCAT? Congratulations! Order anything you want, on the house!" On second thought, I'm glad he didn't. My brain was so mushy I probably wouldn't even know what to order... a Cosmo? A margarita? A mojito? A drink sampler? Give me one of everything please! (Famous last words). Not that I'm 21 or anything, but if he had made the mistake, I might not have corrected him... just saying. After lunch, mommy and I did a little bonding at the local Target. Translation: ohmigod shoes. And then we returned home, I resumed my bump-on-a-log position on the couch and took a nap (heavenly). Later, Dad and I agonized that there was nothing on TV on a Friday night.
Me: "Dad, do you realize that we're watching public television on a Friday night?" Dad: *laughs, recognizing the pathetic-ness of the entire situation*
We couldn't even find the SF v. LA game :( No matter: my Giants lost anyway (ducking Fodgers). We finally settled on "The 40-Year Old Virgin". I have watched some uncomfortable films with my parents before (Borat... yeah, I'm brave), so this wasn't too awkward. But it was funny as hell and just the way I wanted to spend my first night of freedom. We also had some Yo-Diggity Yogurt (for dinner, of course :) My mom was encouraging me to go out this evening, "call up your friends and go do something fun!". Mmmm, considering that I've been up since 5:45 this morning, took a 5 hour test, and am only a few hours removed from the whole overwhelming process, I'll pass. Besides, the last time I was able to just veg was... I'm not really sure. So I took advantage of what looked like a prime opportunity.
And now I leave you with this, dear reader (inspirational moment time): You have the willpower and strength to do something as ridiculous as study for three months straight. You can do even greater things than that. It takes dedication to have goals and strive to achieve them. My dad compared me to a glacier (not sure if this is flattering at all) -- it keeps on moving and doesn't let anything stop it... and then it melts. Soooo, thanks Dad? But in a weird way, it works. Be like the glacier: don't let anyone or anything stop your from doing what you want. And then when you've accomplished your goal, you can relax (melt, if you will), even if just for a moment.
And if you are spoiled like me, "I took the MCAT today" is the perfect excuse to act like a princess all day :) May lead to: getting to order dessert with celebratory lunch because... "I took the MCAT today", getting both pairs of adorable shoes and that really cute dress... and that really cute top because... I took the MCAT today", getting frozen yogurt as dinner because... I took the MCAT today" :)
I am a huge nerd. I am addicted to coffee. Gilmore Girls is my pick-me-up. There is no such thing as too much Chipotle. I read Cosmo and Us Weekly religiously. I am pre-med and therefore a little insane. I sing along with every song on the radio. I love Kappa Alpha Theta. I am a huge SF Giants fan and I take my baseball VERY seriously. I know the lyrics to 95% of all Beatles' songs. I have read To Kill a Mockingbird at least 5 times. I love being an Aggie. I involuntarily squeal when I see puppies. Picnic Day is my favorite holiday. I sometimes read books from my childhood for nostalgia... or important life lessons that are more useful now than when I was eight. I am low maintenance... unless I am stressed, in which case please bring me some ice cream thanks. I love bike rides. Pickles freak me out. I can only eat take-out with the plastic fork from the restaurant. I am sassy and sarcastic. I dream big, I love to laugh, and I love to love. If that works for you, let's chat :)
