Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
And take it easy
Sometimes I feel like life goes by at the speed of sound and I barely have time to breathe, let alone take it easy. Such is the life of an overachiever, a pre-med, a student. But taking it easy is a good thing, even in the midst of obligations and stressors. This weekend, for instance, was much needed. I have two midterms on Tuesday morning, and yet that fact did not stop me from enjoying myself. I realize that I'm coming up on the end of my third year of college. 1) Holy $#!% where did all that time go??? 2) I only have one year left, ONE, to make the most of the most amazing years of my life. That's a tall order...
Which is why I put down the books and lived a little.
I went on a best-friend-date with Emily to Cheesecake Factory. We got lost along the way, talked about anything and everything (thanks for not judging me ever :) and blasted everything from Ke$ha to Glee to John Mayer as we cruised down I-80 AND we got out of the restaurant for under $30. Magical! I love our conversations because we can talk about literally anything and just understand each other. I also came to some very empowering realizations while we were driving home. She has a way of pulling these things out of me. She said it was "music to her ears" :) I'm a musician; it's what I do ;)
The next day, we went to the Rec Pool, opening day. SO. MANY. PEOPLE. It was glorious! As we were walking in, we saw two guys pouring orange juice and champagne into a water bottle to sneak in. Only in college would that be acceptable (and to some degree, encouraged). That was just a glimpse of what was to come on the other side. Frat-tastic guys, girls who refuse to get their hair wet, a slight breeze, and the faintest hint of SPF 30 and snuck-in mixed drinks. Ahhh spring!
That night, we went to Katrina's dance show where, as always, she danced beautifully, making me so proud to have such a cool best friend. I love watching Katrina dance because, aside from the obvious beauty and expressiveness inherent to dance, she makes the funniest faces! I imagine in her head she's saying "Yeah, I'm good, I know!" Sassy lady, I love you! And she's super black on the inside and watching her dance ghetto is basically a life-changing experience! Also, I won $50 in the raffle! I never win things, so imagine my surprise. Houseboats money? :) Can't wait to spend a weekend of fun in the sun with my loves!
I promised myself that after the dance show I would go home and study. "Kelly, are you really going to study at 9:30 on a Saturday night?" Me: "Yeah guys, I have a lot of work to do" (in my head: meh, probably not). I was persuaded to come back to Michele's place and hang out. Best decision ever. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life! Legitimate memories were made that night. Michele and I took a joke WAY farther than anyone else did, and were still dying of laughter ten minutes later. "Are you still talking about that?" Um, YEAH! It was hilarious! We were seriously gasping for air like fish out of water. It was something about weaving but it was phrased very... interestingly. We ran with it. We ran with it very far! And Sassy Gay Friend ("Ophelia, this is the best your hair has ever looked! and to think you were going to get it wet, you stupid byetch! she's a stupid byetch!" -- youtube it). And the teddy bear (Michele, I still can't believe that moment even happened...) which lead to even more hysterical laughter. I'm surprised I didn't pass out. All-around ridiculousness. If my Saturday night taught me anything, it's that I don't need to go out on grandiose adventures (although I do enjoy adventures; they can be a blast) to have a great time. I'm so content to enjoy the company of the people I love, wherever, whenever.
For as fabulous of a weekend as I had in spite of my ever-growing to-do list, there were a few moments where the sound of my own wheels were driving me crazy. When left alone with my thoughts for too long, I waste my energy on things that don't matter. I have lots of thoughts about lots of things, like anyone. Most of the time, these thoughts come and go and I continue about my day. But once in a blue moon, a rogue thought will take over and nothing can snap me out of it. Except for friends. An encouraging text message, a kind word, or a well-timed hug can squash any rogue thought, any crummy situation, and any stressor. When life hands you lemons, text your friends; they'll bring the sugar and help you make the lemonade. I say it every day, and I will maintain this until I die: I am surrounded by the most amazing people. People whom I can tell my deepest thoughts and secrets, people who will pick me up and dust me off when I get kicked to the ground, people who will do anything to see me happy, to see me succeed. They taught us in the Girl Scouts about the value of friends old and new -- "Our new-made friends, just like the old, change from silver into precious gold." It doesn't take lifetimes to build such a friendship. Even the worst of situations can foster new and true friendships, and silver very quickly turns into lifelong friendships and precious gold. With these friends, old and new, borrowed and blue, silver and gold, I have found a safe place where I can make my stand and take it easy :)
P.S. I know it is now like JUST after midnight but I started writing this on Sunday night, April 25th, also known as precisely 6 months until my 21st birthday :)
4.26.2010
4.21.2010
Instant Karma
Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Everyone you meet...
Not much has been going on lately, beside somehow everything in the world going wrong yesterday. No big deal. The way I see it, every dog has it's day. My friend Alex and I reasoned our way through this cliche a few years back. Here's the logic: if every dog has it's day, then everyone in the world has one day in their lifetime where everything is absolutely perfect. You only get one, though, so it would logically follow that every day (except that one) has minor imperfections. You lose your keys. You get stuck in traffic. You're unprepared for an exam. You say something that pisses someone off. You spill your coffee all over your work clothes. These minor imperfections are just that, minor. But somehow, when they all add up, they have a way of really pulling you down.
Enter Tuesday morning. It seems like every 5 minutes, some new responsibility or task rears its ugly head, demanding something from me. Yet somehow, it all seems so distant as I'm lying in bed waiting to start the day, so I'm not too worried. I reluctantly pull myself out of bed to go to Chicano Studies. Outside class, I run into Sarah, a friend of mine from my sorority and an all-around fantastic human being. She asks me how my day is going, seeing the stress exuding from my every pore even though I couldn't. I give her the rundown of my crazy week and she offers to buy me coffee, which I completely would have accepted if I wasn't on my way to class. Damn. I had my priorities out of order -- coffee above all else. Next time. Anyway, I wasn't stressed until I told someone else my to-do list, at which point I nearly had a panic attack.
Then the rain started. And thunder. And hail. Textbooks, flashcards, and notes scattered all around me, I frantically studied for my exams, but all I could think was "I have to go back to campus in like an HOUR in that storm." Cool. Got to campus and to my review session, rain stops. Perfect timing (ugh). Review session was utterly useless. Fantastic. Sex midterm was easy-pants, so that was at least one good thing. People were talking through my favorite show as I was trying to unwind from a long day. Annoying. Stayed up until 1am trying to get my million and a half assignments done so I could not go through this whole stressful ordeal the next day.
Wednesday. Woke up, rocked midterm. No big deal. You know your test is awesome when one of the questions starts with "You are currently taking dilaudid for chronic back pain, and you go out drinking with your friends..." and when you are expected to know things like the differences between west coast heroin and east coast heroin. Quite an interesting start to a Wednesday, I'd say.
I proceeded to Freeborn Hall for the campus blood drive. I try to donate every time there is a blood drive on campus because I have a rare blood type (AB+. What's up, universal recipient!) and because I know people whose lives have been saved by blood transfusions. I have plenty of blood flowin' around in there to give up a little bit for someone who needs it. Also, it's karma. You never know when it might come around. I was always taught by my parents that doing right by and for others is the highest good you can do. As I'm waiting in line and trying to do right by others by giving up my precious hemoglobin, I accidentally sit down where I'm not supposed to, and four very vocal students snarl "Actually, the end of the line is on the other side." Good lord, people, take a chill pill (Valium is supposed to be a very effective anxiety-reliever). I sit down at the end of the line where I've been banished and a nice boy says to me "That'll teach you to try and sit down there." Hearing the sarcasm in his voice, I knew I had found a new friend.
The nice boy was Bobby from Yosemite. We chatted for awhile about school (he is currently managing his company), career aspirations (he used to fancy the idea of being a doctor and living a classy lifestyle until he realized he'd spend all his time at work and never have time to enjoy his money), donating blood, hometowns (he's from a very romantic little mountain town) and holiday parades. There was absolutely nothing about this boy that was particularly remarkable. He was a normal guy with a quirky air about him and a friendly disposition. But for whatever reason, Bobby made my day. I didn't catch a last name, nor did I see him after we parted ways to have our blood pressures read and fingers pricked, but he stuck with me. In a 5 minute conversation with a perfect stranger, I felt relieved of my stressors. And then they poked a giant needle into my vein and I kind of remembered them again. I made friends with the phlebotomist while she was taking my blood. It's okay though, I let her have it.
I always used to think it was a little weird when people would just strike up a conversation with random strangers. But like John Lennon so astutely pointed out, everyone you meet is your brother because we are all a part of this world together. I don't know. Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to make you realize things like that! So thank you, Bobby. Instant Karma, man. And now I'm all kinds of tired because I have significantly less blood in me than I did at noon. I'll find another mundane story in the next few days to write about, I'm sure. This blogging thing is way too fun! Until next time :)
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Everyone you meet...
Not much has been going on lately, beside somehow everything in the world going wrong yesterday. No big deal. The way I see it, every dog has it's day. My friend Alex and I reasoned our way through this cliche a few years back. Here's the logic: if every dog has it's day, then everyone in the world has one day in their lifetime where everything is absolutely perfect. You only get one, though, so it would logically follow that every day (except that one) has minor imperfections. You lose your keys. You get stuck in traffic. You're unprepared for an exam. You say something that pisses someone off. You spill your coffee all over your work clothes. These minor imperfections are just that, minor. But somehow, when they all add up, they have a way of really pulling you down.
Enter Tuesday morning. It seems like every 5 minutes, some new responsibility or task rears its ugly head, demanding something from me. Yet somehow, it all seems so distant as I'm lying in bed waiting to start the day, so I'm not too worried. I reluctantly pull myself out of bed to go to Chicano Studies. Outside class, I run into Sarah, a friend of mine from my sorority and an all-around fantastic human being. She asks me how my day is going, seeing the stress exuding from my every pore even though I couldn't. I give her the rundown of my crazy week and she offers to buy me coffee, which I completely would have accepted if I wasn't on my way to class. Damn. I had my priorities out of order -- coffee above all else. Next time. Anyway, I wasn't stressed until I told someone else my to-do list, at which point I nearly had a panic attack.
Then the rain started. And thunder. And hail. Textbooks, flashcards, and notes scattered all around me, I frantically studied for my exams, but all I could think was "I have to go back to campus in like an HOUR in that storm." Cool. Got to campus and to my review session, rain stops. Perfect timing (ugh). Review session was utterly useless. Fantastic. Sex midterm was easy-pants, so that was at least one good thing. People were talking through my favorite show as I was trying to unwind from a long day. Annoying. Stayed up until 1am trying to get my million and a half assignments done so I could not go through this whole stressful ordeal the next day.
Wednesday. Woke up, rocked midterm. No big deal. You know your test is awesome when one of the questions starts with "You are currently taking dilaudid for chronic back pain, and you go out drinking with your friends..." and when you are expected to know things like the differences between west coast heroin and east coast heroin. Quite an interesting start to a Wednesday, I'd say.
I proceeded to Freeborn Hall for the campus blood drive. I try to donate every time there is a blood drive on campus because I have a rare blood type (AB+. What's up, universal recipient!) and because I know people whose lives have been saved by blood transfusions. I have plenty of blood flowin' around in there to give up a little bit for someone who needs it. Also, it's karma. You never know when it might come around. I was always taught by my parents that doing right by and for others is the highest good you can do. As I'm waiting in line and trying to do right by others by giving up my precious hemoglobin, I accidentally sit down where I'm not supposed to, and four very vocal students snarl "Actually, the end of the line is on the other side." Good lord, people, take a chill pill (Valium is supposed to be a very effective anxiety-reliever). I sit down at the end of the line where I've been banished and a nice boy says to me "That'll teach you to try and sit down there." Hearing the sarcasm in his voice, I knew I had found a new friend.
The nice boy was Bobby from Yosemite. We chatted for awhile about school (he is currently managing his company), career aspirations (he used to fancy the idea of being a doctor and living a classy lifestyle until he realized he'd spend all his time at work and never have time to enjoy his money), donating blood, hometowns (he's from a very romantic little mountain town) and holiday parades. There was absolutely nothing about this boy that was particularly remarkable. He was a normal guy with a quirky air about him and a friendly disposition. But for whatever reason, Bobby made my day. I didn't catch a last name, nor did I see him after we parted ways to have our blood pressures read and fingers pricked, but he stuck with me. In a 5 minute conversation with a perfect stranger, I felt relieved of my stressors. And then they poked a giant needle into my vein and I kind of remembered them again. I made friends with the phlebotomist while she was taking my blood. It's okay though, I let her have it.
I always used to think it was a little weird when people would just strike up a conversation with random strangers. But like John Lennon so astutely pointed out, everyone you meet is your brother because we are all a part of this world together. I don't know. Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to make you realize things like that! So thank you, Bobby. Instant Karma, man. And now I'm all kinds of tired because I have significantly less blood in me than I did at noon. I'll find another mundane story in the next few days to write about, I'm sure. This blogging thing is way too fun! Until next time :)
4.19.2010
I'm Only Sleeping
Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping...
Good LORD I'm tired! It's been a busy several days and there seems to be no end in sight. Sleep and I are not on good terms right now. I keep trying to ease the tension, but we just can't see eye to eye. Sleep is getting a little jealous of my relationship with Coffee but it's just a flirtation, reminiscent of Lorelai Gilmore's romantic dalliances with Weston's Bakery:
"This is not coffee. This is a mocha chocolate caramel swirlaccino with extra whipped cream... and if it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one... it's just a fling. I'll finally spend the night with it, but then when I see it in the morning with the caramel un-swirled and the whipped cream un-whipped, ha! Buh-bye!"
Sleep keeps asking me to just come back to bed, but I'm ignoring it in favor of doing things that I want to (like Picnic Day) or things that I have to (like study). I get it. No one wants to be ignored, neglected, made to feel unimportant. I promise, we will become reacquainted... after midterms.
I'm going to stop addressing nebulous ideas as people now and shift the focus to why I am so damn tired. The short version: because my life is fabulous. Let's start from the top. Picnic Day was an absolute blast! I got up at an unnatural hour for a Saturday to start the day off right with my best friends and some delicious chocolate chip pancakes. We made our way to campus, proclaiming our love of Picnic Day roughly every 3.62 minutes to any and all passersby. We watched the parade, befriended all picnic-goers, took pictures with a giant penguin, ate hot dogs, GOT DINOSAUR HATS (highlight of the day!), saw a guy break a bench, watched wiener dog races, ate more hot dogs, and walked hand in hand and arm in arm declaring Picnic Day the greatest day ever. Successful Saturday :) There was a minor bump in the road, but my friends are fantastic shock absorbers so no harm done.
Sunday. 6am. Alarm. "Expletive!" 8am ER shift. I sleepily made my way to Sacramento for ER fun and yawned my way through four incredibly slow hours. Not many patients, no wacky stories. There was, however, a mighty fine fireman and a couple eye-catching MDs. Back in Davis, despite how exhausted I was, I mustered up the energy to get my work done and enjoy the company of dear friends outside in the warm sun. Life theme: friends make everything better. Everything. So next time something in your life sucks, go find a friend. You may think, "I thought you just said your life was fabulous. Sounds like you had a crappy Sunday." Au contraire. Yes, I was not thrilled about getting up at 6am and I was bummed the ER was so dead, nor did I really want to study, but the fabulousity comes from the little moments with friends. Like Todd asking me if the hot fireman was white (not really relevant, but yes he was). And Jessica and Karen spending over an hour convincing each other that we should go to Cold Stone, only to go about 20 minutes before dinner. And tearing up the coupon book in search of good deals for weird things (I'm getting 10% off my auto maintenance!) It sounds mundane to an outsider, but to me these little memories make the world go 'round.
And now here I am, on the eve of Midterm Season (kickoff tomorrow night at 6:10pm!), writing an entry instead of studying. I have been itching to write for the last few days and life has been too busy. It still is, but now I care less. My midterms this week are about sex and drugs. Literally. My classes are SO badass! I'll study soon... they are kind of intuitive topics. People like sex. Drugs are addictive. Studying just happened right now. I'm good to go.
Nothing earth-shattering so far this week. Every day reminds me that as I go through life, there is nothing more important or profound than friendships and family. I am so blessed to have amazing people in my life. I'm not sure what I did to deserve their friendship and love and unconditional support, but I sure as hell hope I never screw it up. And if I sound like a broken record, good. I want the people in my life to know how much I care about them. They deserve to know. You know who you are. Thank you.
Now, time for Sleep :)
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping...
Good LORD I'm tired! It's been a busy several days and there seems to be no end in sight. Sleep and I are not on good terms right now. I keep trying to ease the tension, but we just can't see eye to eye. Sleep is getting a little jealous of my relationship with Coffee but it's just a flirtation, reminiscent of Lorelai Gilmore's romantic dalliances with Weston's Bakery:
"This is not coffee. This is a mocha chocolate caramel swirlaccino with extra whipped cream... and if it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one... it's just a fling. I'll finally spend the night with it, but then when I see it in the morning with the caramel un-swirled and the whipped cream un-whipped, ha! Buh-bye!"
Sleep keeps asking me to just come back to bed, but I'm ignoring it in favor of doing things that I want to (like Picnic Day) or things that I have to (like study). I get it. No one wants to be ignored, neglected, made to feel unimportant. I promise, we will become reacquainted... after midterms.
I'm going to stop addressing nebulous ideas as people now and shift the focus to why I am so damn tired. The short version: because my life is fabulous. Let's start from the top. Picnic Day was an absolute blast! I got up at an unnatural hour for a Saturday to start the day off right with my best friends and some delicious chocolate chip pancakes. We made our way to campus, proclaiming our love of Picnic Day roughly every 3.62 minutes to any and all passersby. We watched the parade, befriended all picnic-goers, took pictures with a giant penguin, ate hot dogs, GOT DINOSAUR HATS (highlight of the day!), saw a guy break a bench, watched wiener dog races, ate more hot dogs, and walked hand in hand and arm in arm declaring Picnic Day the greatest day ever. Successful Saturday :) There was a minor bump in the road, but my friends are fantastic shock absorbers so no harm done.
Sunday. 6am. Alarm. "Expletive!" 8am ER shift. I sleepily made my way to Sacramento for ER fun and yawned my way through four incredibly slow hours. Not many patients, no wacky stories. There was, however, a mighty fine fireman and a couple eye-catching MDs. Back in Davis, despite how exhausted I was, I mustered up the energy to get my work done and enjoy the company of dear friends outside in the warm sun. Life theme: friends make everything better. Everything. So next time something in your life sucks, go find a friend. You may think, "I thought you just said your life was fabulous. Sounds like you had a crappy Sunday." Au contraire. Yes, I was not thrilled about getting up at 6am and I was bummed the ER was so dead, nor did I really want to study, but the fabulousity comes from the little moments with friends. Like Todd asking me if the hot fireman was white (not really relevant, but yes he was). And Jessica and Karen spending over an hour convincing each other that we should go to Cold Stone, only to go about 20 minutes before dinner. And tearing up the coupon book in search of good deals for weird things (I'm getting 10% off my auto maintenance!) It sounds mundane to an outsider, but to me these little memories make the world go 'round.
And now here I am, on the eve of Midterm Season (kickoff tomorrow night at 6:10pm!), writing an entry instead of studying. I have been itching to write for the last few days and life has been too busy. It still is, but now I care less. My midterms this week are about sex and drugs. Literally. My classes are SO badass! I'll study soon... they are kind of intuitive topics. People like sex. Drugs are addictive. Studying just happened right now. I'm good to go.
Nothing earth-shattering so far this week. Every day reminds me that as I go through life, there is nothing more important or profound than friendships and family. I am so blessed to have amazing people in my life. I'm not sure what I did to deserve their friendship and love and unconditional support, but I sure as hell hope I never screw it up. And if I sound like a broken record, good. I want the people in my life to know how much I care about them. They deserve to know. You know who you are. Thank you.
Now, time for Sleep :)
4.16.2010
You Can't Always Get What You Want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes
Well you just might find
You get what you need
Mick Jagger is onto something. Sometimes life doesn't go according to plan. But if you can find the silver lining, you really do get what you need. I wasn't really planning on having 17 units, 2 internships, 2 IM teams, and sorority responsibilities, mostly because I was planning on sleeping every once in awhile (coffee and I have been getting pretty serious lately). As it turns out, this was the best possible thing I could have done for myself.
I'm finding pleasure in the littlest things these days. Like classes, for instance. For the first time in my college career, my classes are challenging me. Not that I haven't had hard classes before (Organic Chemistry was a bitch and a half), but never before has a course challenged my career choices, my views of society, my very system of beliefs. In 3 weeks this quarter, I feel like I've learned more than I did all last quarter. Perhaps I'm more receptive right now because I don't have the endless list of extraneous distractors pulling me away from the books. Perhaps I'm happy to see the sunlight again. Or perhaps, my classes are actually challenging me to think. Novel concept in college, right? Fellow science majors know exactly what I'm talking about. An oxidation/reduction reaction is an oxidation/reduction reaction. I can only imagine a social science professor trying to teach chemistry:
How does the carbonyl feel about being reduced?
Is the functional group being forced into reduction for lack of better opportunities?
Why do we use the term "reduction"? To reinforce oppressive and negative stereotypes?
Right. Many undergraduate science courses emphasize how things are. For the first time, my classes are challenging me to understand why things are. And even in my "how things are" kind of classes this quarter, the "how" is super cool so it doesn't even bother me! I never knew anything about addictive drugs beforehand, and I've never been so fascinated by a class in my life! I'm on the edge of my seat the whole time (nerd alert). It makes my mom a little nervous how much I now know about opiates and methampetamine. Don't stress, fam; all my knowledge of illicit substances came from books. Also, I recently learned in human sexuality that pregnant women crave particular foods because the developing baby lacks particular nutrients (i.e. my mom craved oranges; I probably needed more Vitamin C) and some women will actually crave dirt and metal. Like, literally. It's because they need iron. But isn't that weird? If I ever craved dirt or metal, I would probably voluntarily check myself into a mental health facility. "Doctor, I think I'm going crazy. I see dirt everywhere and I want to eat it!" And in comparative health, I learned that the single greatest predictor of health outcomes has nothing to do with your access to insurance or care, but your socioeconomic status. That's right, if you make more money than I do, you have a much higher likelihood of being healthier than me. WHAT??? Yes, regardless of access to health care. This is what I mean. My brain is literally exploding every day with new information that actually challenges me!
Enough nerdy stuff. It's been a CRAZY busy week! I feel like so much has gone on that I can't even begin to wrap my mind around. I mentioned earlier about how I'm doing more things for myself these days and I am having SO much fun! I have a date with Michele and the batting cages to work on our form for our IM softball team, as well as a gym date with the Theta Ladies to prepare for our grass volleyball games. I don't care whether we win or lose (losers always say that); I just want to have a good time with my friends :) Although, I did make a pretty spectacular catch in left field on Wednesday and was most proud of myself. Even though it's been a few years since I've played either volleyball or softball competitively, it's almost like riding a bike; all those skills come back effortlessly! And Karen and I have been getting our Abs Express on at the ARC in preparation for Rec Pool season, and I've been hitting up Vinyasa Yoga to just focus on myself and relax! I've never felt better about myself physically or mentally. Even this blog is a fantastic release and it is rather addicting (Annalyse warned me!).
And to top it all off, tomorrow is the greatest day of the year: Picnic Day! I'm beyond excited for wiener dog races, liquid nitrogen ice cream, PICNIC DAY HOTDOGS (I look forward to them every year! SO delicious!), and making millions of memories in the sunshine with my best friends :) To me, Picnic Day is a day where absolutely nothing can go wrong. It is a day that takes everything good in the world and puts it all in one place. And for the 21 year olds, dollar beers at The Grad. Again, everything good in the world. For a day, the community sets aside its troubles, worries, and studies to come together in celebration of all things UC Davis. And who doesn't love a good celebration (read: party!)? :)
If anyone reading this (probably no one ;) is having a rough time of things, just remember The Rolling Stones. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find you get what you need. Sometimes we want things that aren't right for us, and life has a way of correcting for it. It can suck, no doubt about it. But with the proper perspective and a little time, you get what you need.
:)
But if you try sometimes
Well you just might find
You get what you need
Mick Jagger is onto something. Sometimes life doesn't go according to plan. But if you can find the silver lining, you really do get what you need. I wasn't really planning on having 17 units, 2 internships, 2 IM teams, and sorority responsibilities, mostly because I was planning on sleeping every once in awhile (coffee and I have been getting pretty serious lately). As it turns out, this was the best possible thing I could have done for myself.
I'm finding pleasure in the littlest things these days. Like classes, for instance. For the first time in my college career, my classes are challenging me. Not that I haven't had hard classes before (Organic Chemistry was a bitch and a half), but never before has a course challenged my career choices, my views of society, my very system of beliefs. In 3 weeks this quarter, I feel like I've learned more than I did all last quarter. Perhaps I'm more receptive right now because I don't have the endless list of extraneous distractors pulling me away from the books. Perhaps I'm happy to see the sunlight again. Or perhaps, my classes are actually challenging me to think. Novel concept in college, right? Fellow science majors know exactly what I'm talking about. An oxidation/reduction reaction is an oxidation/reduction reaction. I can only imagine a social science professor trying to teach chemistry:
How does the carbonyl feel about being reduced?
Is the functional group being forced into reduction for lack of better opportunities?
Why do we use the term "reduction"? To reinforce oppressive and negative stereotypes?
Right. Many undergraduate science courses emphasize how things are. For the first time, my classes are challenging me to understand why things are. And even in my "how things are" kind of classes this quarter, the "how" is super cool so it doesn't even bother me! I never knew anything about addictive drugs beforehand, and I've never been so fascinated by a class in my life! I'm on the edge of my seat the whole time (nerd alert). It makes my mom a little nervous how much I now know about opiates and methampetamine. Don't stress, fam; all my knowledge of illicit substances came from books. Also, I recently learned in human sexuality that pregnant women crave particular foods because the developing baby lacks particular nutrients (i.e. my mom craved oranges; I probably needed more Vitamin C) and some women will actually crave dirt and metal. Like, literally. It's because they need iron. But isn't that weird? If I ever craved dirt or metal, I would probably voluntarily check myself into a mental health facility. "Doctor, I think I'm going crazy. I see dirt everywhere and I want to eat it!" And in comparative health, I learned that the single greatest predictor of health outcomes has nothing to do with your access to insurance or care, but your socioeconomic status. That's right, if you make more money than I do, you have a much higher likelihood of being healthier than me. WHAT??? Yes, regardless of access to health care. This is what I mean. My brain is literally exploding every day with new information that actually challenges me!
Enough nerdy stuff. It's been a CRAZY busy week! I feel like so much has gone on that I can't even begin to wrap my mind around. I mentioned earlier about how I'm doing more things for myself these days and I am having SO much fun! I have a date with Michele and the batting cages to work on our form for our IM softball team, as well as a gym date with the Theta Ladies to prepare for our grass volleyball games. I don't care whether we win or lose (losers always say that); I just want to have a good time with my friends :) Although, I did make a pretty spectacular catch in left field on Wednesday and was most proud of myself. Even though it's been a few years since I've played either volleyball or softball competitively, it's almost like riding a bike; all those skills come back effortlessly! And Karen and I have been getting our Abs Express on at the ARC in preparation for Rec Pool season, and I've been hitting up Vinyasa Yoga to just focus on myself and relax! I've never felt better about myself physically or mentally. Even this blog is a fantastic release and it is rather addicting (Annalyse warned me!).
And to top it all off, tomorrow is the greatest day of the year: Picnic Day! I'm beyond excited for wiener dog races, liquid nitrogen ice cream, PICNIC DAY HOTDOGS (I look forward to them every year! SO delicious!), and making millions of memories in the sunshine with my best friends :) To me, Picnic Day is a day where absolutely nothing can go wrong. It is a day that takes everything good in the world and puts it all in one place. And for the 21 year olds, dollar beers at The Grad. Again, everything good in the world. For a day, the community sets aside its troubles, worries, and studies to come together in celebration of all things UC Davis. And who doesn't love a good celebration (read: party!)? :)
If anyone reading this (probably no one ;) is having a rough time of things, just remember The Rolling Stones. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you just might find you get what you need. Sometimes we want things that aren't right for us, and life has a way of correcting for it. It can suck, no doubt about it. But with the proper perspective and a little time, you get what you need.
:)
4.12.2010
Don't Rain On My Parade
Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade
My mother still makes fun of me because when I was younger, I loved Barbara Streisand. Whether or not I actually liked her vocal stylings is still up for debate; I think I just wanted to be like my mommy and listen to her music. Anyway, aside from me being a really cool 6 year old, this was my favorite song. At the time, I couldn't appreciate it's meaning, but I have a little more perspective now.
From a literal standpoint, it was raining cats and dogs today! In the rain, driving between Sacramento and Davis is hands down the scariest experience I've had to date (I consider myself very lucky). And today was no ordinary commute for me. I was on the road by 7am (a number with which I generally choose to not familiarize myself) to get to a brand new internship by 8am. And this was no ordinary internship. I was on my way to the UCD Medical Center ER for my very first day. One thing was for certain: one wrong move, and I would end up in the ER, but not by my choosing. Needless to say, I was a little tense and a lot caffeinated. Once I got to my destination, though, things went swimmingly! My trainers were really friendly, the doctors were nice and had a great sense of humor, and a guy in scrubs (I assume he is in one way or another associated with the medical profession) was chatting with me about classes and medicine and the like. But I must say, for as busy as the ER may be, it is nowhere near the level of dramatic that they portray on TV.
"The hemorrhaging in the aorta is too great! We'll lose her if we don't do something fast!"
"I'll grab the trache kit! Stat!"
"That's completely unrelated."
"Not to worry! I'll do chest compressions!"
"Are you even a real doctor???"
"No, but I AM a real McDreamy! Meet me in the elevator in 5 minutes?"
If the real ER was anything like this fake ER I created with random medical terms, people would be super dramatic on the regular! Do you really think Patrick Dempsey knows what a trache kit is? Don't get me wrong, he is a hunk and a half, but really? I originally started talking about rain. How I got to Patrick Dempsey is beyond me. At any rate, a successful first ER shift by all accounts. The attendings were nice and the residents didn't beat me up and take my lunch money. All in all, a pretty good day :)
Now for the figurative rain. I read a great quote recently: "Everyone wants happiness and nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain." Truer words were never spoken, anonymous. Through the bad, one learns to appreciate the good. Just as this literal storm shall pass and bring blue skies, so too shall any "life" storm pass and bring brighter days. Weather is unpredictable, and so is life. I had a pretty rough couple of months that I did not foresee where it seemed like each and every facet of my life was falling apart. It was the universe's way of saying "you've had it too easy until now." I don't think I could have learned the valuable lessons I have without braving the storm and I would not be the woman I am now as I type this. A dear friend told me, "if you can make it through this, you can do anything." And she was right. Not that I'm Superman or anything; my cape is still at the dry cleaners. But her point was this: I would never have developed such strength without the struggle that came before it. And at 20 years old, I can finally appreciate Babs. Nobody is gonna rain on my parade because I'll just keep marching through it. Mama and Daddy taught me well.
I am looking at the busiest quarter of my life. I say it every quarter, but this time I mean it. Two internships, two IM teams, four classes, nine midterms, two term papers, a sorority, and a partridge in a pear tree. I have amazing friends and family that helped me get through the toughest months of my life, so such a splendid lineup should be a cakewalk :) I can't begin to describe how blessed I am; I'll save that for another day.
And one last thing: LITERALLY, weather, DON'T rain on my (Picnic Day) parade. 'k thanks! Favorite holiday in 5 days :)
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade
My mother still makes fun of me because when I was younger, I loved Barbara Streisand. Whether or not I actually liked her vocal stylings is still up for debate; I think I just wanted to be like my mommy and listen to her music. Anyway, aside from me being a really cool 6 year old, this was my favorite song. At the time, I couldn't appreciate it's meaning, but I have a little more perspective now.
From a literal standpoint, it was raining cats and dogs today! In the rain, driving between Sacramento and Davis is hands down the scariest experience I've had to date (I consider myself very lucky). And today was no ordinary commute for me. I was on the road by 7am (a number with which I generally choose to not familiarize myself) to get to a brand new internship by 8am. And this was no ordinary internship. I was on my way to the UCD Medical Center ER for my very first day. One thing was for certain: one wrong move, and I would end up in the ER, but not by my choosing. Needless to say, I was a little tense and a lot caffeinated. Once I got to my destination, though, things went swimmingly! My trainers were really friendly, the doctors were nice and had a great sense of humor, and a guy in scrubs (I assume he is in one way or another associated with the medical profession) was chatting with me about classes and medicine and the like. But I must say, for as busy as the ER may be, it is nowhere near the level of dramatic that they portray on TV.
"The hemorrhaging in the aorta is too great! We'll lose her if we don't do something fast!"
"I'll grab the trache kit! Stat!"
"That's completely unrelated."
"Not to worry! I'll do chest compressions!"
"Are you even a real doctor???"
"No, but I AM a real McDreamy! Meet me in the elevator in 5 minutes?"
If the real ER was anything like this fake ER I created with random medical terms, people would be super dramatic on the regular! Do you really think Patrick Dempsey knows what a trache kit is? Don't get me wrong, he is a hunk and a half, but really? I originally started talking about rain. How I got to Patrick Dempsey is beyond me. At any rate, a successful first ER shift by all accounts. The attendings were nice and the residents didn't beat me up and take my lunch money. All in all, a pretty good day :)
Now for the figurative rain. I read a great quote recently: "Everyone wants happiness and nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain." Truer words were never spoken, anonymous. Through the bad, one learns to appreciate the good. Just as this literal storm shall pass and bring blue skies, so too shall any "life" storm pass and bring brighter days. Weather is unpredictable, and so is life. I had a pretty rough couple of months that I did not foresee where it seemed like each and every facet of my life was falling apart. It was the universe's way of saying "you've had it too easy until now." I don't think I could have learned the valuable lessons I have without braving the storm and I would not be the woman I am now as I type this. A dear friend told me, "if you can make it through this, you can do anything." And she was right. Not that I'm Superman or anything; my cape is still at the dry cleaners. But her point was this: I would never have developed such strength without the struggle that came before it. And at 20 years old, I can finally appreciate Babs. Nobody is gonna rain on my parade because I'll just keep marching through it. Mama and Daddy taught me well.
I am looking at the busiest quarter of my life. I say it every quarter, but this time I mean it. Two internships, two IM teams, four classes, nine midterms, two term papers, a sorority, and a partridge in a pear tree. I have amazing friends and family that helped me get through the toughest months of my life, so such a splendid lineup should be a cakewalk :) I can't begin to describe how blessed I am; I'll save that for another day.
And one last thing: LITERALLY, weather, DON'T rain on my (Picnic Day) parade. 'k thanks! Favorite holiday in 5 days :)
4.10.2010
A Day in the Life
Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late...
(Paul McCartney knows my morning routine to a T).
I've recently been inspired by my experiences, family, and friends to start a blog. Partly for kicks. Partly to release some pent-up energy and channel it into something creative. Partly to just do something for me, damn it! :) Perhaps I should be using the energy and time it took to write this to work on my term paper, but this is way more fun! And who is going to look back on their life and say "I wish I had spent more time working on that term paper"? Right.
Before I start talking about my life, I swear the title of this blog is not as conceited as it seems. This is not an ode to me. I was being clever. ("She has this very off-putting sense of humor. You'd know that if you spent any time with her!" -Emily Gilmore... Gilmore Girls fans?). See, I come from a very musical family. My mom loves to sing. My dad plays the guitar like nobody's business (fun fact: he has a sitar. Like from India. Yeah, I thought it was weird too). My grandfather was a record executive at Columbia Records. My parents met at Tower Records where they both worked. Sometimes people wonder what life would be like in the movies, where every situation has background music and every day has a soundtrack. Come hang out at my house for a few hours and you'll know what that feels like. I play the piano and have since I was 8 years old. My dad handed me The Beatles Anthology songbook and said "You want to play piano? Here, play." And the rest, as they say, was history. Ode to Joy was probably the second song I learned how to play, after "Drive My Car" which consisted of my banging the C key over and over (that's what the sheet music said to do!). I've developed my musical skills considerably since then (I can play Twinkle Twinkle now!) to include the likes of Ray Charles and Vince Guaraldi, my jazz inspirations. I do a pretty mean "What'd I Say", if I do say!
See, the blog title has a point! Music inspires me. Even what I hear on the radio. I enjoy a wide variety of music, some of it quite atrocious (Pitbull, there is something about your crunk beats and naughty Spanish phrases that just make me want to dance). I often find myself relating to songs I hear on the radio, and sometimes that's a good thing (I DO wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy! Not all the time, but you know, occasionally) and sometimes it's not so good. And sometimes it just makes me think...
I often find myself in situations and I think, "Oh my gosh, that one song TOTALLY describes my life right now." Perhaps because music has universal themes: love and love lost, friendship, and (if you listen to country music) making you feel better about yourself because at least you're not this guy who lost his job, his girl, his dog, and his truck. When I'm having a rough time of things, I like to just sit down at my keyboard and just play around for hours (Keyboard, if you're reading this, please buy a ticket for the next train to Davis; I miss you). I'm a very Type A personality; everything has a place and a time and a specific way of being done. My keyboard is the one place where I can forget all the structure and organization and just play. How many of us, at 20+ years old, can say that we take time out of our days to just play and do something 100% for ourselves? I wish I did more of it.
Which brings me back to this blog. I'm at a place in my life where I'm beginning to realize the importance of doing things for myself. I'm a notorious people-pleaser and I often place other people's needs and concerns above my own. Doing so has gotten me into a bit of a funk, and from this funk I have learned how much I need to live more for myself. I'm taking little steps in the right direction and I must say I'm enjoying it so far. I feel more confident in myself, more empowered, and more aware of my own needs. And frankly, I have a lot of thoughts and an inflated sense of my own importance, so it seems only natural that I would start a blog, right? ;) I don't know if I'm even very good at this blog-writing thing. For all I know, I'm not saying anything insightful and I'm just blasting hot air (hot... keystrokes?). Whatever. Again, I'm doing this for me and only me. If writing my little Ode to Joy can help me step outside myself and learn from my experiences from a more introspective vantage point, then I can rest easy knowing that I'm doing something wonderful for myself :)
"The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates
Until next time :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
