Free

We're just as free
Free as we'll ever be


Dear Zac Brown Band, thank you for reminding us that country music can be, and should be, simple. In an age of rhinestone cowboys, Zac Brown and company manages to bring country back to its roots. Sometimes, less really is more. I have a Pandora station devoted to the Zac Brown Band, and every song that comes up is elegantly simple with thoughtful lyrics and a unique sound; it makes for a great summertime playlist.

Their latest hit Free was stuck in my head this morning. Ironically enough, it was while I was taking my first practice MCAT. It's really helpful to have a song about being free and living a simple country life with your love while taking a standardized test. Really. Studying for the MCAT is going well. I'm trying not to burn out too early but still get my work done, which averages out to about 4-6 hours of studying a day. This number makes the average student cringe, but I am no average student. I'm a super nerd; I have a higher tolerance for studying. I never realized how lame that sounds until I said it just now. Most people in college build up their tolerance for Keystone and Cap'n Mo... I'm just that cool.

This is what the end of a typical study day feels like.

M-kitteh?

Coffee shop owners around town are starting to recognize me. This was an actual conversation between myself and the owner of Common Grounds, my new MCAT study spot:

Owner: Oh you're back again! More MCAT studying today?
Me: Yeah, you're going to see a lot of me this summer...
Owner: Oh good! Regular soy latte?
Me: Yes please.
Owner: And do you have one of our frequent customer cards?
Me: No, but I probably should get one... I'm going to be here a lot...

I ran into my bio instructor from my prep class (who is a med student at UCD) at the coffee shop and he came over to my table to chat with me for awhile about school, MCATs, traveling, and the like. Med students are pretty great, I have discovered, because they are not far removed from the heinousness of undergrad science courses and entrance exams and applications, so they are remarkably chill and have great advice to offer. I have also made some pretty cool friends in class, and y'all know how I feel about friends :) MCAT class is a funny setting. Sometimes I wish I could just focus on the people rather than the information, like a sociologist would. If I could, I would just go to class and observe, listen. From only one week of class, I have determined that pre-med students fall in a couple distinct categories made up of roughly the following percentages: 74% awkward quiet nerdy "typical" pre-meds, 3.7% people that you wonder how they tie their shoes let alone plan for a career in medicine, 6.3% people that seem normal at first but they eventually reveal quirks and strange personality traits that makes you second-guess their apparent normalcy, and the remaining 16% are actually normal. I try to make friends with the 16%. And as we learned in chemistry and grammar school, respectively, like dissolves like and birds of a feather flock together. I would like to consider myself normal...

As weird as it sounds, I am really enjoying this whole MCAT deal. Before you call the nearest mental institution to see if they have an open bed for me, just hear me out: I have wanted to be a doctor since I was six years old. SIX. For those of you keeping score at home, this whole journey is almost fifteen years in the making... and I'm still so far away. So finally, after so many years of waiting, I am doing something about it. And it's a great feeling. As I have said a few times, it has been such an up and down year for me, and things have been looking up pretty consistently for the last few months, finally. Preparing for this exam is enjoyable for me. I am taking concrete steps toward making my dreams a reality. And speaking of dreams, I have had this recurring dream (at least 3 times now) that I receive a 38 on the MCAT. God, if you are reading this, please please please let this be a sign. With a 38, they'll be banging down my door with acceptance letters. I really hope that dreams are some sort of sign because if so... shoot. People ask me if I am scared to graduate next year. I am by no means scared; I have a plan, and a couple backup plans (you can never be too prepared). Being scared to graduate and not wanting to graduate, however, are two different animals. College is awesome. It is a cruel cosmic joke that it only lasts for four years. But I know that I have a wonderful future waiting for me on the other side of this four-year journey, so I think I'll be okay :)

It may not seem to the untrained eye like I am "free" this summer. Maybe I'm not. But there is a liberating feeling associated with being prepared and ready to take on the future. I have no idea what to expect down the road, but I won't be facing the mysterious whatever unarmed. And apparently it only gets harder from here, so maybe I am just as free as I'll ever be right now. That's fine by me, because I couldn't be happier to be alive and well and oh so blessed :)