I'm Ready

And today was a day just like any other...


And yet it wasn't. I overslept my alarm (awesome) and managed to get ready for class in 10 minutes flat while still looking fabulous. Don't hate the player, hate the game ;) Went to class, learned about racism and methamphetamine. In two separate classes. Cool Friday. So far all y'all who are like "I don't have class on Fridays and my life is amazing," do you get to learn about cool things like racism and drugs Monday through Thursday? That's what I thought. Walking home from class, trying not to get blown away to Kansas by the wind, I was in my own world listening to my iPod when a song came on. A song that was too much for me to handle. Too much everything rolled into three-and-a-half minutes. Too much... until today. Today, I took control of my life, even if in the smallest way, by listening to a song. Throughout this roller coaster of a year, I've jumped through so many fire-y hoops trying to please people in my life and gotten burned, despite putting forth my sincerest efforts, despite putting my own needs on the back-burner. No. More. Today, I walked with confidence. I took care of me. I took control. So in a way, today was a day just like any other because it should be like this every day. But it wasn't just any day because it was finally time for me to say "I'm ready."


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Don't want to recognize when things go bad
The things that you'll accept
Accept that I am 
Finding the words to say
I'm ready


This is my absolute favorite song by Jack's Mannequin. Frankly, it is one of my favorite songs ever. I listen to it on repeat, I blast it in the car and use the steering wheel as my drum-set while I sing into my bluetooth as my microphone, I blast it in my iPod (if I lose my hearing because of this song, I'll be okay with it), I blast it when I need a pick-me-up or when I feel on top of the world. It doesn't matter when, where, or how. I love what this song says. It's all about overcoming the things in your life that hold you back, pushing yourself beyond what you think you can do, and finding that power within yourself to say "I'm ready". Ready for what? Ready for what-effing-ever your heart desires. Ready to move on, move out, get up, get out, get on with it. It is a very empowering song; I literally feel like I got my swag on when I listen to this song (took a look in the mirror, said wassup... haha I'm embarrassed for myself... don't hate). Nothing in the world can stop me because I'm ready. Does it really even matter what I'm ready for?

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Don't stop me
I'm ready


It doesn't much matter. I'm unstoppable doing it :)

Today at the class for my internship, the director of admissions at the UC Davis School of Medicine spoke to us. He flashed the numbers in front of us. Out of 4,500 applicants, only 600 got interviews. Only 175 gained admission. Only 105 start. He told us what makes an application stand out. Apparently "never sleeping" is one of those qualities. He said flat out "some people, no matter how many times they apply, will never get into medical school." For a few minutes, my spirits were crushed. Everything that I've wanted my entire life could effectively amount to nothing in the eyes of an admissions committee. Perfect. And then I started thinking about it. I've wanted this so badly for my entire life. I'm an intelligent, confident, personable woman. I have the grades. I have the interpersonal skills. I have the passion. There is nothing that that man said that I can't do. Except maybe finance medical school, but no one can actually afford medical school, so I'm not too worried ;) In any case, I can do it. Having him flash those statistics in front of me only made me want it more. Why? Because I'm ready.

Author's note: The preceding paragraphs were written Friday night; the following was written Saturday. Just to clear up any confusion. I don't go to class on Saturdays. That's not a thing.

Saw "Hair" in the Arboretum with the loves! What a trip! Sitting in the very front was fun because the actors would jump out into the audience and dance in front of us and interact with us. One of our friends even got a kiss! The show was followed by hot chocolate and ridiculosity at Michele's house = Perfect night! I miss everyone who went to Yosemite this weekend to camp and I wish I could be with all of you right now :( But I got stuffs going on in Davis! Daddy is coming to visit and I'm so excited to see him! :) Somehow my midterm-free week is turning into busy busy busy! It's okay though. I believe that I thrive when I'm constantly on the go. The energy drink Go Girl was created for people like me! In fact, I should be getting ready to go right now! On my way to the Clothesline Project at the Farmer's Market -- an event to raise awareness about the reality of sexual assault on our campus and in our community. A little heavy for a Saturday morning, but if anything it is an event to empower our community to take action and reduce and hopefully eliminate the occurrence of assaults. It's a pretty cool event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=349438335999&index=1

Can't wait to see Daddy :)
Until next time!